A Month Without Mimi

This past month has been a genuinely odd one.

Our oldest, age 8, boarded a plane with her mama about a month ago and headed across the Pacific. One week later, Mama came back but Mimi stayed on with her cousins and grandparents. For the past three weeks she has attended school in Japan, eaten a ton of ice cream, and occasionally, sleepily, FaceTimed with her family back in the states.

There are, sadly, no pictures of her departure. We simply dropped Mama and Mimi off. We had considered walking in to the terminal, but given how much time they had, and the fact Mari was screaming her head off that she wanted to go on the airplane, drop off was probably the best choice.

We naturally had some reservations about sending Mimi away for a whole month at such a young age, but the time with her family, and experiencing a different culture for an extended time far outweighed those fears. We knew it would be a challenge, but we also knew she was up for it. So far, it looks like she's risen to the occasion.

Mari and Kuri took Mimi's absence in stride. They were happy but knew something was a bit off. Kuri never cried about it, but for the first week or so, at least every other day, he'd look up at me and say, completely unprompted, "Papa, I miss Mimi."

"I know, buddy. Me too."

As Mimi stormed Japan, we had a bit of our own fun back here. The first week was tough with just the two kids and me. Few pictures of this time survive, though both kids and their father made it through relatively unscathed.

I had a bit of help that week as one of my best friends from elementary school, John, came down with his wife Jen for a visit. We met up with our friend from intermediate school, Mike, as well as his wife and kids, for some serious pinball action at the Pinball Museum in Alameda. That little boy in blue is Kuri and Mike is right behind him. Note the level of concentration on both faces. Given Mike's a pretty damn good pinball player, I think the boy will go far.

As John, Mike, Jen, and Cassandra play on the left, you can see Kuri still working away on the right. I was amazed by his concentration. He tried machines until he found one that clicked with him and then kept with it. Seeing his potential that day, I've come to the conclusion that it really isn't fair to such a child, with so much innate pinball talent, to have only one machine at home. Getting at least one or two additional machines here on which he can hone his skills really makes a lot of sense. Otherwise, I'm just not letting my child explore his potential.

Back at home, Mari exploited the two new visitors. Mari walked all over Johnny...

...Kuri played soccer with Jen (sadly, our backyard was in no shape for this activity, so the living room had to suffice),

and Mari continually sought out ways to cuddle with Johnny. I think, in her mind, she claimed yet another new boyfriend.

We ended our stay at Le Garage restaurant in Sausalito. This is a great little Marin restaurant. Right on the water with excellent food and a relatively chill atmosphere. It was also great for me because, for the first time in years, adults actually outnumbered the kids. Eating was actually possible!

Eventually John and Jen left, but they were quickly replaced with Sumie. It was nice to have the family back...mostly. We headed out for the one event Mimi was most sad to miss: the Marin County Fair. I've posted on this in the past and it remains one of my favorite things about this county. It's small, local, and perfect for younger kids. When it comes to rides, Kuri isn't all that adventurous, but at least he was able to get on a Jeep.

We had a ton of fun looking at the animals, eating fried food, and popping balloons for prizes (Kuri popped 3 on 5 darts!). This being Marin, we got to meet with Darth Vader!

Kuri impersonated Lord Snoke.

And the whole family took a picture with some Star Wars greats.

Before camp started I had some extra time with Kuri during the day. This meant a lot of extra Lego building. Kuri is obsessed with Voltron, so one day he asked me to build the Castle of Lions.

Not to be outdone by his papa, he constructed his own.

With Mimi gone, we had a few chances to swap in Mari for Mimi's usual swim lessons. Unlike Mimi and Kuri, Mari naturally loves the water. Since finding Hiroe-sensei, Mari and Kuri now look forward to swimming lessons, but Mari eats them up. She's a water baby.

As the weeks went on we kept to our normal schedule. One weekend, with Sumie off call, we were able to sneak out to brunch on a Sunday. We came across a pretty amazing car. Very proud to announce that even my two year old can spot a Ferrari.

Work is continuing on our yard. We have not had a driveway for the past two weeks. At least Mari and Kuri got a huge kick watching it being torn up.

With Mimi taking on such a brave adventure, I wanted to give her a nice surprise when she returned. I racked my brains and then inspiration struck thanks to a severely underpriced, and on special, Salvation Army find. Mimi has her own little Raspberry Pi computer, but the screen is small and the battery runs out quickly. With this, we finally have a family computer that the kids can use. I'm hoping to install Minecraft on it for Mimi. She's obsessed with it, but I don't feel that bad. She's creating constantly. It now takes 45 minutes for her to show me the world she's built.

Last week Sumie's oldest brother came by (he was on a work trip) and Sumie's sister, brother-in-law, and the cousins stayed over. Once again, we snapped very few pictures (the children took over), but at least we got a snap of the amazing nabe Sumie prepped and Eddie cooked.

July is Mari's last month at her daycare. This is a pretty momentous occasion. We have been sending our kids to the same daycare, up until they hit two, for the past six years. Even moving to Marin couldn't break this cycle. It's very bittersweet. Mari is definitely ready for preschool, but with her moving out, we'll miss daily contact with someone who has become a member of the family. I know we'll make visits, though, whenever we can!

We're all excited to see Mimi this Sunday. And while she's had an amazing adventure, I think she's also ready to come home. After all, she's only 8. Still, I'm tremendously thankful we've been fortunate enough to provide her with this opportunity. I didn't leave the country until I was in my mid 20s. Mimi's embracing her Japanese side, whole-heartedly, both here and in Japan. I hope we can do the same for the the whole family. It might be a stretch, but I think, in the long term, it will be worth it.

Faulty Plumbing

It's been far too long since I've posted.  No, Sumie didn't imprison me for giving Mimi a mullet.  That would've been much more preferable to what actually happened. 

Last Wednesday night, nearly 5 days ago, I met friend for dinner.  We went for Mexican at a local place Sumie and I had visited multiple times before.  The food is tasty, the drinks are strong, and the prices reasonable.  Normally.  This time, though, my meal cost me far more than usual.  Particularly given that I couldn't keep it down. 

When I arrived home around 10:30 that night, I was in the full-blown throes of a serious case of food poisoning.  It continued until 6:00am.  My dear wife slept by my side, waking up every 15 minutes or so to say, "You poor thing."  I was not in a good way. 

Thursday morning found me relatively stabilized but exceedingly groggy and entirely unable to keep anything down.  This made watching Mimi a bit of a challenge.  I couldn't leave the house, but Mimi was in no mood for sympathy.  For a full hour she chanted "Go!  Go!" next to the stairwell.  The girl likes to go outside.  

Despite the occasional calls for freedom, Mimi was a good girl for me that day.  She napped well, and even let me snooze on the couch without tearing the house apart.  I think she knew something was wrong with her Papa that day.  By the time Sumie came home that night I was able to keep down some juice.  An improvement, thanks in part to Mimi. 

Friday found Mimi at daycare and me convalescing.  That afternoon I had my first few bites of food.  It had been at least 36 hours since I'd last eaten.  It seemed like I was on the mend. 

But then Saturday came.  The day started innocently enough, with me serving up blueberry pancakes, bacon (I only had one piece!), and scrambled eggs.  Health seemingly restored, we set out for a quick trip to Baker Beach.  Here's Mimi and Sumie making their way up the long staircase from the ocean below. 

Mimi, that trooper, insisted on walking the whole way.  Mama provided the occasional boost, but for the most part, she scaled that entire stairway herself.  She was beyond proud of herself when she hit the top. 

I've never come across a more independent little girl.  She even insisted on carrying her own sand toys - despite them weighing more than she does!

After the beach, and a nap back at home, we drove over to the Moscone Center to pick up Yoomi, a friend of Sumie's from New York.  They'd been through residency together and it was a rare treat for them to meet up again. 

The four of us decided on a quiet dinner at Ju-Ku, a small Japanese izakaya close to our home.  As usual, the food was excellent, especially the fried chicken.  Mimi was on her best behavior.  For nearly two hours she didn't moan or complain.  She just focused on eating, trying to steal Yoomi's glasses, and figuring out how many used chopsticks she could fit in her water glass.  Unfortunately, this last game came to a rather disastrous end for Mimi's dress and Sumie's pants.  That was our cue to head home.  And so we did.

By the time we entered the house, both Mimi and I knew something wasn't quite right.  All that rich food wasn't sitting well with me and Mimi, well, she hadn't pooped for a few days.  This, combined with a full day, made her a bit grumpy.  We changed her out of her wet clothes and she threw a massive tantrum when confronted with her pjs.  She decided to seek solace in the hall carpet.  Why she had to keep her butt in the air, I've no idea.

Things took a further turn for the worse for Mimi and me Sunday morning.  Mimi, Sumie and I were expected at a friend's house for brunch that morning, but it wasn't looking good.  Mimi's plumbing was still severely backed up and mine, once again, had shut down entirely.  And if that wasn't enough, humans weren't the only ones with plumbing problems that morning.  The storm drain in our garage had backed up overnight - perhaps because of the steady rains - making the garage completely uninhabitable.  Basically, everything had gone to shit. 

Mimi and I took pity on Sumie, who had been on call all last week, and let her go enjoy her brunch in peace while we dealt with our various plumbing problems.  And we made some headway.  Mimi, that brave little girl, was eventually able to poop all on her own - and in her potty at that!  I tackled the garage, eventually getting the water level down low enough so we could get to the trash cans.  I was still feeling queasy, but at least I was keeping down juice.  By 1:00, when we had to pick up Sumie, Mimi and I had enjoyed a rather productive morning - despite our handicaps. 

Today I'm feeling a little better, but I still can't take anything in.  I've resigned myself to juice for the next few days.  I suppose it's best for me.  And it's linked to the one positive that's come from my food poisoning: I've finally lost some weight!

Chalk Drawing Approval, Halloween Costume Rejection

Yesterday was, without fear of contradiction, the most low-key Halloween I've every experienced, including when I lived in Japan.  Apart from the bowl of candy in the foyer, the puppy costume on the floor, and the lone trick-or-treater we received around 7:30, it could have been a random day in May. 

Mimi did her best to ensure that the Halloween spirit was fully subdued.  She loves dogs, so we bought her a cute little puppy costume for her.  It came with a puppy cape, hood, paw mittens, and paw booties.  None of which Mimi would wear for more than an eighth of a second.  Here she is with the hood actually up. 

And here she is one-twentieth of a second later. 

The only time Mimi really got into the Halloween spirit was when she put the laundry "delicates" bag over her head and became the world's least threatening ghost.  She made Casper and Charlie Brown look like the Marquis de Sade and Genghis Khan.

 With Halloween play out of favor, we headed out to the backyard to play with Mimi's new sidewalk chalk set.

The session began with a giant rendition of Miffychan.  Should the aliens come they'll quickly be able to spot which San Francisco home has the cutest toddler.  Unfortunately for them, there are no warnings that she is also the loudest.

After making several improvements to the Miffy sketch, Mimi decided it was time to play with watering bucket.  She still loves this.

Unfortunately, all the water play made Mimi thirsty.  And when she's thirsty, the watering bucket instantly transforms into a drinking fountain.  Luckily, Papa is well aware of his daughter's delusions, and had rinsed out the bucket thoroughly.  Well, somewhat thoroughly. 

Soon it was time to draw again.  This time Papa attempted to draw Thomas the Tank Engine.  Mimi inspected his work carefully...

and, even after taking a few steps back, still had no idea what her father was on about. 

Yes, you're right, Mimi.  Your father is a crap artist.  He really does appreciate, though, that you don't make fun of his drawings.  At least, not yet. 

San Franciscans' Weekend Strategy: Escape the City!

It's a very odd practice for us, having come from Manhattan.

In NYC, we would "weekend" in the city.  Granted, we didn't have the money for a place in the Hamptons, but I don't think that's why we so often decided not to leave the island.  First off, I never wanted to give up my parking spot.  On most Fridays I would've fought for at least an hour to find one, so there was no way I was leaving just to go through that again.  Another reason was the accessibility of the city.  We could get anywhere via cab, subway, or shoes.  And the wealth of options for entertainment was, quite simply, more than we could ever ask for.  Sometimes we'd simply stay in just because there were too many options from which to choose.

In San Francisco, however, there seems to be a pervasive culture of "escaping the city" on the weekends.  Perhaps I'm wrong in this - having lived here only two months, and in the Richmond District at that - but I've definitely gotten the impression that most San Franciscans use their weekends not to explore the city, but the achingly beautiful natural wonders that surround it.

I've been trying to figure out why this is.  Part of it, I think, has to do with how transportation in the city works.  A combination of MUNI buses and BART can get you places, but not very conveniently and not with much stuff.  A car, however, can get you anywhere.  And unlike Manhattan, parking is relatively convenient and inexpensive.  More difficult than most cities, but still quite manageable.  With SF still being geared toward the car, despite the almost militaristic bicycle lobby, most residents still own at least one.  And this, I think, leads many SF residents to explore beyond the boundaries of home.  That and a lot of fog!

It's a very different way of living, I have to admit, but Sumie and I are getting used to it.  This weekend started for us on Friday, when we drove the 5 blocks (this would never have happened in Manhattan) to go to "Ju-Ku," a Japanese izakaya in the Richmond District.

Mimi, for once, was actually relatively well behaved.  Maybe she knew just how much her father wanted to enjoy his kushiage (Japanese fried food on sticks).  Dinner was very good, and featured the best Japanese fried chicken (karaage) that I've had in years.  Better than my own.  I left the restaurant very satisfied and a little envious.

On Saturday we headed up to Mill Valley, a small town off 101 in Marin County, to visit a great toy store we'd learned about and to explore Marin a bit more.  We really loved it up there.  It's strange.  In NYC, 10 to 15 miles out of Manhattan felt like an eternity, but here it feels absurdly close.  I can't help but think that we'll probably end up outside of San Francisco proper in a few years.  Well, we'll see.  Perhaps I'll look back on this entry in a year or two and be amazed at how ignorant and naive I'd been.

From Mill Valley we drove up to what must have been California's busiest In-n-Out Burger.  It was well worth the wait, though.  Those burgers never get old.  I can taste them now, actually.

After lunch we headed down, and then back up, into the the Marin Headlands.  What a perfect day for it.  Completely clear and a sunny 70 degrees.  This was, I think, around the time NYC was going through a snowstorm.  I guess some things are better on the west coast.  The view of San Francisco and the Golden Gate from the headlands was breathtaking.  Naturally, I had forgotten my good camera, so these pics come via iPhone.  They don't really do the sight justice.  

I've loved the Marin Headlands since I was a kid.  One of the primary reasons are the numerous military installations, particularly cannon batteries, that dot the area.  We visited the "Wallace Battery," constructed in 1942 out of fear of a possible Japanese attack on the West Coast.  The cannon are gone, but the fortifications remain.

Nature has definitely been creeping back, but that makes the sites all the more fun to explore.  Mimi enjoyed "foofing" seeds from a puff-plant (wish I knew the name of it as, given that I don't, I'm going to be shunned by my botanically pretentious sister).

Getting out of the city really was a welcome change.  And I've a feeling that if I lived outside SF, coming in for a dinner or a trip to the museum would feel just as exciting.  Looking forward to learning more about where our family be on the bay in the years to come.

12 Days On, 2 Days Off

We're quite happy it's Friday around here.  The weekend has been well-earned.

As part of her new position, Sumie takes call for a full week at a time.  The shift begins on a Friday morning, passes through the weekend, and finally comes to a close the morning of the following Friday. Thankfully, this week her call shift has been relatively light - no 2am emergency pages - but it has made for some very long days, and an even longer week.  A 12-day week, in fact.

Sumie did an amazing job over this last call.  No matter how tired she might have been, or how early she had woken up that day, once she got home she was all Mimi's.  I can't begin to share just how proud I am of her for being there for Mimi so thoroughly and consistently.  Mimi's thankful, too.  She may not be able to say so yet, but given that she yells out "Mama!" with unbridled eagerness whenever she hears the garage door, I think it's pretty apparent.

Naturally, when Sumie's on call it means that I, to a certain degree, am on "Papa-call."  Weekends are like weekdays - just me and Mimi - and I can't go out evenings as Sumie may be called in.  The first time I took Papa-call, several weeks ago, I went a bit haywire.  I've always liked having time to myself and, as I've discovered, toddlers are not very good at giving parents their "space."  As the week progressed, I felt more and more tied down.  Though I was technically free to do whatever I wanted, my actions had to meet with Mimi's approval.  As such, freedom only came at nap time.

Because the last one was a little rough, I was anxious about going through this week's call with Mimi.  I'm very thankful to report that things have improved.  The week really has, for reasons I can't fully explain, been a joy.  Though Mimi and I have had our disagreements (7 or 8 regarding the reading of books have occurred while writing this blog post.  Mimi won every time.) we're learning how to live with each other in relative harmony.  She's starting to get that when Papa's in his chair, Papa's working.  And I'm starting to get that even when I'm in my chair, sometimes there are things, like a quick book read, that supercede whatever I'm working on.

One major difference between the last Papa-call and this one has been how Mimi and I interact.  Only a few weeks ago, the relationship felt much more like care-giver and client.  But now, it's more like we're playmates.

I'm still in charge - at least theoretically - and she still drives me nuts on a regular basis, but there's a much greater sense of play, and even teamwork, in all that we do.  It's almost as if our small, daily actions - reading, flashcards, drawing, eating, napping, shopping, etc. - are helping us to form a greater dialog.  In other words, there feels to be some actual two-way communication now!

I didn't expect the change, but it is a very welcome and very heartwarming one.  I guess both Mimi and I have grown up a bit this last week.

Granted, one of us still likes to crawl under the coffee table, but I think we'll let that one slide.

I Love You, But Please...Stop Helping Me!

Last night we hosted a small dinner for two of Sumie's friends from medical school.  One of the girls brought along her two 6 month old puppies, which completely made Mimi's day. 

They were a bit more energetic than her old friend Harrychan was, so she'd get a bit scared at times, but on the whole, she really enjoyed it.  I'd have to say that, behavior wise, she was on par with the dogs.  And given that they're 3.5 in dog years already, that's not too bad a showing for Mimi.  

Mimi didn't fall asleep last night until almost 10.  I was rather surprised by this.  Granted, the dogs definitely brought out some baby adrenaline, but Mimi had been going full blast all day.  Not one to sit idly by, Mimi insisted on helping me clean house and prepare dinner.  This meant that every task I attempted took 17 times longer than normal.  Below is a quick look at how Mimi "helps" us around the house.

The day's help often begins in the bathroom.  Mimi swipes the shower squeegee from me and thoughtfully cleans the outside of the glass shower doors, which are, naturally, perfectly dry and streak free.  She'll get through 2 or 3 swipes, each accompanied by an almost guttural "wheeeee!", before she moves on to wiping down the cabinets, hallway walls, and television.  The squeegee eventually ends up in the living room, most often under the piano bench, but only after Mimi has taken another bite out of one of the poor squeegee's corners. 

After that, it's time to get dressed.  Mimi runs to the dresser and immediately picks out an outfit.  Unfortunately, these outfits usually consist of a sweatshirt and 7 pairs of pants, so I always have to make a few substitutions.  Out of sight, of course. 

 Picking up after Mimi during the day isn't much of a challenge, but cleaning up the house, with Mimi still in it, is well nigh impossible.  Let's say I want to put away Mimi's toy chest.  That's code, at least to Mimi, for her to jump inside it. 

The only way to get her out is via distraction.  Thankfully, she's a sucker for Star Wars, much like her father.

Mimi loves books, which makes me very happy, but she doesn't quite understand the concept of putting them away.  She prefers them strewn across the floor.  So, whenever I start shelving books, Mimi takes this as her cue to take out as many as possible.  In fact, in the middle of that last sentence, I had to get up and remove from Mimi's violent hands my copy of "Open" by Andre Agassi.  In four seconds she had pulled the book off the shelf and ripped the dedications page.  Nice work, Mimi. 

I have always loved books, but living with a toddler has shown me that there's one thing I hate about them: dust jackets.  They make having a library with a child a living hell.  And whoever came up with the insidiously fiendish idea of putting these on children's books should, quite simply, be tortured with a very pointy fork.   

Putting away toys is another challenge.  For some reason, whenever I put a toy into Mimi's toy basket she interprets this as me wanting her to immediately take that same toy back out and throw it across the room.  I don't really enjoy this game, but Mimi certainly does.  Here we are attempting to put away her stacking rings.  Note the 1978 Remote Control R2D2 in the background.  It's one of her favorite toys.

As I was putting away a few of her books the other day, Mimi decided to lift this same R2D2 over her head and then drop him squarely on her big toe.  It's amazing just how quickly cleaning up books can shift to cleaning up blood when you have a toddler.  And yet, I'm a bit happy Mimi hurt her foot.  We now have something new in common.  I lost a nail after inadvertently smashing my big toe with a "Return of the Jedi" arcade cabinet.  Father and daughter, each with a digit damaged by the work of George Lucas. 

As I bring this entry to a close the house is, amazingly, still quite clean.  It feels good.  And, if I'm lucky, it will remain this way for another 20 or even 30 minutes.

Compromising Hairstyles

Mimi was born with a mop top.  At one week she boasted more hair than her follically-challenged father.  At least in the back.  

Sumie and I considered trimming the mop from time to time, but we couldn't bring ourselves to submit to it.  The longer it grew, the curlier, and cuter, it got.  And so, the months flew by and the hair continued its rapid advance downward.

At 17 months, though, push had come to shove.  Something had to be done.  The situation was so dire that Mimi couldn't even play the piano without her hair blocking the keyboard!

Knowing that there's not a hairstylist alive for whom Mimi would sit still, I took the job into my own hands.  What drove me to it?  Well, this morning I caught a glimpse of my own hair in the mirror.  

 Genes aren't kind and I knew that if I didn't do something, Mimi could soon be suffering from the same plight as her father.


A bang trim was in order.  I set up her highchair and tied her favorite sleeping blanket, which needed to be washed anyway, around her neck, old-timey barber style.

I then wet down her hair with No-More-Tangles.  This made for some straight, manageable, but greasy hair.  A few forward strokes from the brush and my canvas was ready.  Except for one thing.  It was moving all over the place.

The actual cutting was, by far, the most difficult part.  I really didn't want for Sumie to come home to find her daughter wearing an eye-patch, though I guess it would've made the selection of her Halloween costume a no brainer.  After several attempts at cutting her bangs like one would at a salon, and being repaid with fierce head shaking, I took up a new strategy.  Starting on Mimi's right, I gathered a few strands of hair, perhaps 20% of her bangs, and then snipped.  I repeated the process across her forehead until I reached the other side.  Amazingly, it came out fairly even!  Not sure how that happened, but I'll take it. 

Mimi was unsure of the new look at first,

but I think that she was reasonably satisfied.  After all, the price was right! 

Somehow I don't think we'll be able to wait another 17 months before we take a pair of shears to Mimi's locks.  Maybe next time we'll actually brave a salon.  I just hope we can find one that offers general anesthesia.