Wednesday, May 30, 2012

You've Got One Year. Make it Count.

One year ago I handed in my walking papers.  I had been working for the same company for nearly nine years - with reasonable satisfaction and success - and may very well have stayed another nine had Sumie not received an unexpected phone call from California.  Within a week, we had decided to pack up our beloved apartment in NYC and head for the sunny shores (outside the Bay Area at least) of California. 

Though the decision was quick, it wasn't easy.  We would be leaving behind Obachan and Ojichan (Sumie's parents).  We would be saying goodbye to that incomparable city, New York, which had seen us through our graduate degrees, marriage, first home, and first child.  And, so that Sumie could begin her new career in earnest, I would be giving up mine.  Her opportunity was just too good to pass up.  We had to make the move.

Rather than look for a job in San Francisco, Sumie and I decided it would be best for me to stay home with Mimi.  I was to be a stay-at-home dad.  This wasn't just about the transition to San Francisco.  Mimi had been struggling with day care - she never quite acclimated - and with the move we wanted to ensure that she'd be healthy, happy, and confident the next time around.  This meant one of us staying home with her.  And that meant me.

To be honest, I was excited.  This was a new chapter in my life, one I'd share day-by-day with my daughter.  Not many people get that opportunity, especially fathers.  My last day of work was a Tuesday.  A bit odd, but it was Mimi's birthday - her first.  Signing off that afternoon and then celebrating with my little girl was a perfect conclusion to my first career.  I had been working with kids for nearly nine years, and I was giving it up for just one, albeit very special, little girl.  

My first experiences as a stay-at-home dad were still back in NYC, where a bubbly one-year-old, who still couldn't walk, insisted on helping me with the packing. 
At times it really would've been easier to send Mimi in a box, but I hear there are laws against that kind of thing.  
Occasionally, in between the packing, we'd sneak over and pay Sumie a visit during lunchtime.  Some things never change: Mimi still hates her mother's pager!
Before we knew it the end of July, and our moving date, was upon us.  We hit the city almost every night with friends and family, saying our goodbyes.
Mimi and I also hit many of the neighborhoods I knew we'd miss.  Here she is, hat on head, in her stroller one year ago.  
And here she is, hat on head, one year later.  She's come a long way, but that grin is still quite mischievous.  
It took us a while to find our new home in San Francisco, but once we did, we've made the most of the extra space.  On sunny days Mimi loves getting wet in the back yard...
...or making giant drawings of one of her favorite characters: Miffi-chan.  
But not all sunny days have been relegated to the back yard.  When Mama's free, we always try to hit the beach.  Mimi simply can't get enough of the ocean. 
There's been plenty of stuff to do inside as well.  In addition to singing songs and reading books, Mimi and I have taken up pinball...
...piano...
...and impersonating a doctor.  
Of course, life at home hasn't always been perfect.  There have been times when I've let my guard down, much to Mimi's enjoyment. 
There have been those afternoons where life is just a bit more than a toddler can take.   
And lastly, there have been good haircuts...
...and horrendous ones.  Sumie still won't let me near a pair of scissors if Mimi's in the room.  
But most of all, being in California this year has been about spending time with family.  We were able to take our first trip as a family to Japan, to visit Sumie's Grandmother...
...and Mimi gets to play with her own Grandma and Grandpa a couple times each month, not to mention her Great Grandma and aunts up in Sacramento.   
With being so close to Eugene, Oregon, Mimi's been able to spend much more time with her cousin, Alder, my sister's boy.  The two are doppelgangers when it comes to size, spirit, and mentality.  Genuine partners in crime. 
And what would Mimi do without her Japanese cousins, Nana, Lilly, Haruki, Shuhei, and Asuka? 
Being surrounded by family has had, by far, the most dramatic impact on Mimi.  Back in New York she was a bit isolated, but here, with so many cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents, there's always someone she can play with, and who can challenge her to grow.  Our only regret is that she doesn't get to spend much time with Ojichan and Obachan, as well as uncle Genta, who are back in NYC.  Well, Mimi's due a trip back home to Manhattan sometime very soon.  As are her parents.

This past year has meant the world to me.  Much like the year I spent in Japan, it thoroughly and unexpectedly changed my life.  And for the better.  Mimi has blossomed into a beautiful, albeit stubborn, toddler, and I have had the opportunity to share the journey with her, and with all my friends and family through this blog.

But, like all things, my time as a stay-at-home father is coming to an end.  What no one knew, not even our families, was that Sumie and I agreed to a one-year span for me staying at home.  Well, to be honest, I was perfectly happy with not putting a definitive date on it - I hate that kind of deadline when it comes to the unknown - but Sumie was adamant.  "You've got one year, hon.  That's enough."

Amazingly, it was.  Mimi has developed the confidence and security that were so lacking a year ago.  She's acclimated to day care (I think she likes being there twice a week more than being with me, actually) and she's learning that she can get along without Mama or Papa holding her hand (except when crossing the street).

As I mentioned before, I quit my New York job of nine years on Mimi's first birthday.  The day after Mimi's second birthday, I received an offer letter for an instructional design position here in San Francisco.  I was being offered a new career, one I want, 1 year to the very day of leaving my old one.  Of course, I took it.  The timing was too perfect for me to tempt fate.

It was, despite coming in exactly at the one year mark, a bitter-sweet decision.  Being home with Mimi has changed my life for the better and, I hope, hers as well.  Each time she smiles, giggles, or says something new when we're here at home together, I can't help but think, "I'm going to miss that if I'm not here."  I'm sure I will miss some of those milestones, but I also know that this is the right step, both for me and for Mimi, though I will miss our time together terribly.   
This blog, in case you were wondering, will continue.  Documenting the past year for Mimi, and our friends and family, has been a joy.  It is, perhaps, the best gift I'll ever share with my little girl.  And I owe her for just having given me the best year my life. 

Monday, May 28, 2012

School's Out for Summer, School's out Forever

This past Saturday we celebrated my Mother's retirement from teaching.  40 years in the making, it was a bitter-sweet event.  The retirement is well deserved and welcomed, but I know she's going to miss the classroom and the students. I think she'll find some consolation in her grandkids, though. 
Alder, Mimi's cousin and partner in crime, came down from Oregon to help us celebrate.  
Alder brought his mom, Julie (my sister), along with him.  Here she is talking with my cousin Alisa, whom we just don't get to see enough of.  She brought her son Frankie and daughter Lilly.  Unfortunately, her husband was working (just like my wife).  That meant she was charged with watching both her little ones (Mimi alone was more that enough for me). 
At one point, Lilly, who is about to enter Kindergarten, walked over to Alisa and handed her an empty juice box.  "This is mommy's trash," she proclaimed.  This was a rather brilliant maneuver.  It had been Lilly's while there was still juice in it, but as soon as that juice was gone, it instantly became her mother's.  Alisa didn't agree.  
 
Handing off her garbage gave Lilly the opportunity to run off and play with Mimi's cousins, Nana and Lilly (they can't get over having the same name).  It's rather amazing just how much 5 year old girls conspire together.
Mimi was a bit more reserved than her older cousins that afternoon.  
She did attempt the slide all on her own...
...but, true to form, chickened out at the last minute.  
That was OK, though, because before we knew it the time had come for Randy, Julie, and I to give our speeches celebrating my Mom's retirement.  Mimi and Alder cuddled up with Grandma in the world's largest camping chair. 
The speeches over, Mimi insisted on sitting in her own chair.  Both Grandma and Mimi kicked back.  Grandma thought about what her retirement years might bring...
 ...and Mimi contemplated how she might take over the world. 
After the party, Julie and I stayed over at my Mom's (joined by Sumie, who had had a light call day) and enjoyed some quiet family time, much like we used to after she'd come home from school 20 years ago.  My Mom was, and still is, an amazing teacher.  Over the years she's equipped countless students with the skills, support, and inspiration to make their dreams come true.  And no two students more than her own son and daughter.  Sumie and I are so thankful that with this next chapter, Grandma will now have the time to play an even larger role in Mimi's life.  We're almost as excited about it as Mimi!

Friday, May 25, 2012

Two Years, Too Soon

It really is quite remarkable.  Where have the last two years gone?

When Mimi arrived...
  • we lived in Manhattan
  • our apartment was 600 sq ft and had no parking
  • Sumie was a nephrology fellow
  • I was still working at Kumon
  • we had no idea how to raise an infant
Now that Mimi is two...
  • we live in San Francisco
  • our house has multiple bedrooms and parking spots
  • Sumie is a nephrology attending
  • I am a stay-at-home dad
  • we have no idea how to raise a toddler
Yes, we've come a long way (except where parenting is concerned), and Mimi's made it a remarkable journey.  So, when it came to her second birthday, despite originally claiming we wouldn't do anything, Mimi made out like a bandit.

We kept it small.  Grandma and Grandpa had asked to come, and that was enough for us.  It was almost overwhelming for Mimi.  All day long she roamed the house shouting out, 'Happy Birthday!  Happy Birthday!  Grandma coming!  Grandma coming!"  It was beyond cute; one of those moments in which there's nothing better than being a father.  By the time Grandma and Grandpa arrived that night to celebrate, Mimi was bubbling over!
One year ago, Mimi didn't know what a present was.  Now, however, she not only knows what they are, she knows exactly how to tear into them.  
After opening several outfits and books from Grandma and Grandpa, Mimi raced back over to her mother, who had even more gifts.  
From us she received 3 new pairs of shoes (we haven't kept up very well with her feet) and a colorful new hat.  Mimi loves "boshi."  She never leaves the house without one, even if the one she chooses doesn't fit or constantly blows away.  
Lastly, we surprised her with a little gem from the 1960s I had spied in a thrift store: a Fisher Price Creative Coaster.  
To be honest, I was the one who picked it up and paid for it.  Mimi was the one who found it.  Thankfully, she'd forgotten I'd bought it by the time we gave it to her, and she was overjoyed to see it.  This morning, on the way to daycare, she didn't say goodbye to me or Sumie, but she did say, "Bye-bye wagon!"  Honestly, some of the best toys ever just aren't made anymore.  Glad to see Mimi has an eye for vintage goods much like her father. 
We finished off the night with a specially decorated cake from Schubert's bakery.  It was white chocolate mousse and it was beyond good.  If you haven't had a cake from Schubert's, drop whatever you're doing and go now.    
This year was the first time Mimi got to blow out her candles.
 She needed a little help.  While she definitely has the lungs to blow them out (just ask our neighbors), she's a bit too timid.  I think it's a result of blowing bubbles.  She's learned that if you blow too hard, you won't get any bubbles.  Somehow this translated to candles for Mimi.  Grandma helped her out, though, and we were soon able to eat. 
That night while putting Mimi to bed, she softly muttered "Happy Birthday" as I wrapped her in her blanket.  It was the end of a special day in Mimi's life, and the end of a very special year in the life of our family.  I can't imagine a better way to close it out.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

5th Birthday Mayhem in Palo Alto - Photo Essay

On Sunday, we all went down to Palo Alto to celebrate the 5th birthday of Shuhei Iwasaki.  That's Mimi's cousin. 
Mimi's birthday was less than a week away, so we figured we'd get as much birthdayness out of this one as we could (we don't have anything planned for Mimi yet).  We weren't disappointed.  Everyone came out.  Here are the two Iwasaki sisters...
...Uncle Ed with his son Haruki...
...and, of course, the birthday boy's parents, Shu and Kayo.  They were the two who always looked busy.
By 2pm it was time to eat.  Pizza, mac and cheese, pasta, and some salads for the brave, vegetable-enjoying adults.  Lilly, Nana, and Shuhei loved the pizza.
Nana even liked posing with it.  Well, to be honest, she likes posing with just about anything.  
After pizza it was time for balloon animals.  Several of the parents were quite adept at this and could make all kinds of things.  Of course, the only thing everyone wanted was swords. 
Even the cute little girls, like Mimi, were sword crazy.  She'd been given a beautiful flower.  She even called it such.  
But within a few minutes, she started running around stabbing people with it.  That's not the kind of flower power San Francisco is famous for.  
There was also lots of painting to be done.  Here are Shuhei and his sister Asuka mixing away...
 as their mother Kayo looks on to ensure the grass stays green.
 Asuka chose a color she liked...
...as did Shuhei...
...and they ran over to join their cousins Lilly and Nana, who were already hard at work.
Earlier that day we'd made a giant "box tunnel."  By covering it with butcher paper, the kids were really able to go to town with the paints.  Asuka did a great job helping her cousins.
All the kids joined in, actually.  Even Shuhei is painting away.  You just can't see him in this picture because he decided it would be fun to paint the inside of the tunnel.  It was his birthday, after all.  
I had my Nikon on hand and with the light nice and soft, Sumie and I tried to get some good shots of Mimi.  She's a cutie but she is also, without doubt, the least cooperative model in the history of photography.  The best pictures we could get were her with a bottle...
...and another with her being "kawaii" and, naturally, covering up half her face.  
Mimi's little cousin Haruki is far younger, but already knows how to take a good picture!
The party was held on the Stanford campus, where there were lots of festivities going on.  We lucked out and were paid a surprise visit by the famous Stanford tree!
Berkeley alums will be happy to note that the tree was quickly slain by a hoard of youngsters with balloon swords.  Oh, the carnage.  
Soon it was time for the birthday cake.  Here Shuhei unexpectedly had to hold his ground against another little boy who saw the cake and decided it was his birthday. 
Shuhei eventually got to dig into his cake.  As he cuddled up with a friend...
...Asuka spent some quality time with Haruki...
...and Lilly and Mimi, being trouble makers, attacked a bowl of colored gelatin balls.  Those specs in the photo aren't dust.  That's water from my overly splashy daughter.  
All told, I think the birthday boy had a great 5th birthday -one he'll definitely remember.  
And Mimi, with all the partying over the weekend, I think we'll ring in her 2 years of life this week with a cake, some songs, and maybe an extra-special evening viewing of her Doraemon cartoons. That should be sufficient.  Especially if she's not going to remember any of it!