UPS.: Unbelievably Pathetic Service

Several years ago UPS, the United Parcel Service, ran a nation-wide ad campaign centered on the slogan, "What can brown do for you?"  At the time of the campaign I figured they had decided to call themselves "brown" because that's the color of their trucks, uniforms, packages, etc.  But now, with a little more experience, I fully understand why they went with this campaign.  Brown isn't just the color of UPS, it's also the color of sh*t. 

Sumie had ordered a total of 35 moving boxes from Home Depot, who would be sending them through UPS.  They had initially said roughly 3 days for delivery, but this was extended all the way to delivery on Monday.  Sumie and I had planned to take Mimi out that day, but, because of the delivery, we stayed home all day waiting for the boxes, just in case they had any trouble with getting into the building.  5:00pm came and went, so Sumie checked in online at 5:30 only to find that the package had apparently been "refused" at 4:45pm.  We had not been contacted at all.  Sumie immediately called the UPS service center to try to straighten things out.  They asked her why she refused the package.  She said she didn't.  They then said, "Huh?  But the driver said you did."  "I haven't spoken with anyone!" Sumie said, "And if I had refused the delivery, why on earth would I be calling you now!?"  "Yes, but the driver said you refused the package..."   Sumie may as well have been talking to a recording.  At least that might have known how to direct the call to someone who could actually help.

Long story short, Sumie was told she'd receive a call by 6:30pm regarding what had happened to the package.  When this didn't come, she called again, only to be told that she'd receive an update within an hour (hmm, sound familiar?).  Before the hour was out Sumie checked online again only to find that the package had been sent back to Home Depot because Sumie had supposedly, once again, refused delivery.  She called once more and was told that there was nothing they could do.  It was insane. 

So, UPS, here's what we know about you. 

• You have a driver who is an incompetent liar (I'll put $1,000,000 to $1.00 that there's not another Sumie Iwasaki in Manhattan living at Apartment 3N on 77th street);
• Your customer service is both ineffective and rude; it cannot rectify a delivery even when the recipient spots a mistake a scant 45 minutes of it happening;
• You do not keep to your word regarding deliveries or returned calls; 
• Brown is definitely the best color for you!

And Home Depot was no better.  Sumie called to ensure that her order had been cancelled and they said, "If we get a return from UPS the order is automatically refunded."  Sumie shared that she was so frustrated by the situation that she didn't want to order from Home Depot online ever again.  This got the response.  "Yeah, we get a lot of returns from UPS.  It happens all the time." 

Because of UPS, we had missed out on one of the last full days we could have spent in NYC.  So, today, we decided to put a little faith in our city and go local for our moving order.  Within 15 minutes, Sumie had placed an order online for boxes with same-day delivery.  5 minutes later she received a call that the boxes would arrive between 12:30 and 3:30.  And finally, at 12:25, we received a call saying that the boxes were here.  They were brought up the two flights of stairs to our apartment, on one of the hottest days of the year, and dropped off with thanks.  What a difference!

Of course, the boxes were slightly more expensive than the deal we had gotten through Home Depot, but the service we received and the time we saved were more than worth it.  Why don't we, as a country, "go local" more often?  Is it just the cost savings?  Had we stuck with UPS and Home Depot, they very well may have shipped the box below "as-is" and then refuse return. 

The last few days haven't just been about box delivery incompetence and injustice, though.  On Sunday we were able to walk over to the Central Park Zoo and do a little exploring.  It was Mimi's first visit and ours as well.  After 9 years you'd think we'd have already visited one of the more famous attractions in NYC, a locale captured in one of our favorite Simon and Garfunkle songs, but there you go.  There was always time.  Well, now there's not, and we're feeling it. 

Though this is the second zoo we've taken Mimi to - Denver being the first - we both think she's still a bit young for it.  Here's a typical shot of Mimi from that day.  She's not at all interested in the animals.  Rather, she's attempting to devise new ways to make her Papa less comfortable. 

Even at the petting zoo (yes, it was a non-evil petting zoo), the animals didn't provide much pull for Mimi.  Compare the following two pictures. 

Yes, no interest in the real goat, but give her a goat statue and she's all over it.  Maybe she's just not at the right age.  Even in the Polar Bear exhibit Mimi was far more interested in getting the attention of the 3 year old boy next to her than the one-ton ursine paddling through the water in front of her.  Well, I suppose everyone has preferences.  Even those who are only 13 months old. 

-Steve