Weekend - Lazy Parents vs. Toddler

Weekends are for sleeping in, decompressing, and perhaps recovering from a previous night's activities. 

There's just no denying this irrefutable, immutable, irrepressible fact of life.  It is not a fact, however, that all fully appreciate or accept.  Morning people, youth sports league directors, and "weekend warriors" all, to some extent, have failed to grasp the overall purpose of the weekend.  But no one, no matter how happy in the morning, besieged with soccer games, or intent on hitting the trail head before sunrise misunderstands weekends more than toddlers. 

Mimi, of course, is no exception.  During the week Mimi usually wakes up sometime between 7:30 and 8:30.  This is perfectly acceptable behavior and while I'd appreciate a little more rest on a Saturday or Sunday morning, I'd still take it.  My darling Mimi, though, likes to get an early start on most weekends.  This morning we got a reprieve (being summed to her room a little after 8:00am), but most weekends begin with yelps for attention at 6:30 or 7:00.  This is cruel and unusual parental punishment.

Yes, yes, yes, I know I used to do this to my own parents.  I remember waking up at 6:30am to watch Mr. Ed on many a Saturday morning.  But it was Mr. Ed.  What four year-old wouldn't wake up early to catch a talking horse on a surfboard?  Mimi, though, wakes up early simply so that she can jump back into bed with us.  It's cute, granted, but if you happen to innocently fall back asleep while she's watching, she'll sit on your head. 

After being pummeled in our own bed until 9:30 or so, Sumie and I finally got up and started getting the house ready.  We were having friends over for lunch at 1:30 and we had to cook and clean.  Normally this wouldn't take all that long, but with Mimi on the prowl, the most basic tasks can become almost insurmountable.  As an example, let's take a look at fundamental and relatively mindless morning routine: brushing teeth.

For those without toddlers, this is a doddle.  You stumble into the bathroom, grab a toothbrush, put a dab of toothpaste on it, wet it, shove it in your mouth and brush.  A minute later you take it out and then rinse with some water.  An amoeba could do it.  But throw a toddler in the mix, and the whole operation goes to hell in a handbasket.  As soon as you put the toothbrush in your mouth - and no sooner, mind you - the child will ask for her own toothbrush.  This you give to her, along with a dab of training toothpaste.  By the time you begin to slurp up the inevitable runnel of toothpasty-spit slurging from the corner of your mouth - the one still crammed with your own toothbrush - your child has swallowed the training toothpaste and is now demanding juice in high-pitched wails.  It takes you 4 minutes to find her juice cup, which she left under your desk in the guest bedroom, 2 minutes to wash it, and 1 minute to fill it.  7 minutes isn't all that long, but it's plenty of time to ensure that enough goo has dribbled down your chin to require changing your shirt.  This you do and then look down at your, for the time being, satisfied toddler.  

Face sufficiently mopped up, you put new toothpaste on your brush, and a new dab of training toothpaste on your little girl's, and finish up your brushing.  If you're lucky, the toddler will play along.

Cleaning is another challenge.  When we had friends over pre-Mimi, it would maybe take us an hour or so to make sure the house was spic and span.  With Mimi, quite simply, one of us has to kidnap her and head for the park, store, or other diversion to let the other clean in peace.  We've learned this the hard way.  Take a look at the picture below.  You'll see a neat and orderly kitchen and dining table.  The floor is also freshly vacuumed.  There's just one thing out of place.  Can you spot it?

Today, to let Sumie clean, I took Mimi down to the shopping street to get her a pair of safety scissors.  The way down went well.  We got what we were looking for and Mimi, as a reward, got a pinwheel.  On the way back, though, she got a little fed up sitting in her stroller.  Here's another situation in which toddlers turn a task that should take 5 minutes into an endeavor of epic proportions.  Not only was Mimi no longer content with being in her stroller, she was now refusing to let me push it!  "Get away, fat man!  This one is mine!"

 Amazingly, she actually made some progress.  Sure, her rate of travel was about 1/167th of my own, but she was moving forward.  Thankfully, toddlers tend to tire quickly.  After 10 yards Mimi handed me back the reins and we waddled our way back home. 

When we got home the house was clean - thank you, Sumie! - and Sumie was free to distract Mimi while I cooked.   By the time our friends arrived the house was still relatively clean and lunch was almost ready.

Spending a weekend with a toddler is a bit like tag-team wrestling.  Even now, as I'm writing this blog entry, I had to tag in Sumie so that I could use my computer in peace.  As soon as I'm done I'll have to tag Sumie out so she can have a little peace while I bathe Mimi.  But after that will come sleep, I hope, and the main event will be over.  At least until 6:30 Sunday morning.

Having Her Say - Preferences of a Toddler

Personality. Everyone has one, for better or worse, and Mimi is no exception.  Of course, being under two years old, Mimi's personality is not yet fully developed.  Each day a little bit more of who she'll be shines through.  It's an amazing process and we're not quite sure how she'll end up: shy or out-going, sweet or scrappy, serious or giggly.  One trait, however, is not in question.  The girl is, and will always be, fiercely independent. 

This "my way" approach is beginning to make some of the simple things in life - such as getting dressed - rather difficult.  I have nothing against Mimi having preferences for what she wants to wear that day, but I do take exception to her changing her mind every 47 seconds.  Given that it takes me at least this long to get a onesie on her, our "clothing on!" morning routine seems to take forever.  Sometimes it's a good half hour after the new diaper goes on until she finally settles on the pair of pants to team with it. 

Here's a case in point.  Several mornings ago, Mimi decided that she'd face the cold in my BMW knit cap. 

Unfortunately, it didn't quite fit.  This infuriated Mimi, who immediately decided that the cap must be punished.  She began flinging the innocent cap across the room, only to pick it up again immediately so that she could shake the living daylights out of it.  Eventually, believing the cap had finally learned its lesson, she tried it on again.  Of course, it still didn't fit.  This meant war.  Mimi sprinted to the kitchen where she retrieved a small plastic bag.  She placed the hat into the bag and then began slamming it against the kitchen cupboards.  7 minutes later, the hat assuredly in a daze, Mimi seemed satisfied.  The next day, still disdaining the obstinate BMW cap, she decided she'd wear a onesie on her head.  Personally, I think the BMW cap fit better, but Mimi seemed pleased. 

Shoes have been another item of contention.  In Japan we bought her a pair of pink galoshes speckled with strawberries.  They were, unfortunately, several sizes too large, which meant they were constantly falling off and causing Mimi to trip.  This didn't phase my little girl, though.  Given a choice between the perfect fitting yellow galoshes (the ones she'd actually chosen at the store), her adorable ruby patent leather shoes, and the strawberry "accidents waiting to happen," Mimi would chose the dangerous, easily lose-able pair every time.  To get around this I've taken to hiding all pairs of shoes I don't want Mimi to wear.  When she comes downstairs to put her shoes on, she'll only find one or two pairs waiting for her.  This was working quite well until...

Mimi decided that she wanted to wear my shoes.  I'm still not sure how to get around this one.

Food has been another item of developing preferences and, of course, contention.  The other night, though it was just Mimi and me, I made a special dinner of pan-fried tilapia with butter-miso pasta.  Naturally, Mimi just wanted to eat her applesauce.  Lunch the next day was the exact opposite, with Mimi refusing the applesauce in favor of day-old pasta.  It's hard to figure out your child's favorites when even she doesn't know what they are. 

Thankfully, Mimi has yet to show a preference for Japanese or American food.  She loves them both.  I think the picture below sums up the situation quite well.  In one hand is a sausage roll.  In the other, a salmon rice ball. 

I wonder where Mimi's preferences and personality will take her when she grows up.  I hope she uses that independent spirit of hers to explore both her cultures and both her countries.  I also hope Mimi someday realizes that putting a hat in a bag and beating the crap out of it simply because it doesn't fit is, while funny for Papa, a bit counterproductive. 

I'll Slide on My Own, Thank You!

Spend more than 30 minutes with Mimi and I guarantee that at some point within that half hour you'll make the observation, "That girl is really independent, isn't she?"  This, I'm afraid, is putting it lightly. 

Mimi has always been a bit precocious.  10 minutes out of the womb and nurses were already commenting on how alert Mimi was.  The girl was hyper aware.  Even at 2 months, when we first dropped her off at daycare, she put up a massive struggle.  And she never let it go.  She flat out knew we wouldn't be around and simply would not accept it.  At 8 months or so we tried to wean her from co-sleeping to sleeping in her crib.  This was back in New York when we still shared a bedroom.  No matter how exhausted she (or we) might be, Mimi would refuse to sleep if we were in the room.  She'd scream, cry, whine, bellow, and wail until we brought her back to bed.  Only then would she quiet down.  If we laid her down and stayed in the living room until she feel asleep, she'd still wake up once we came to bed in the middle of the night.  Even in her sleep she knew we were there.  Eventually Sumie and I had to sleep in the living room for a week to get Mimi used to sleeping in her crib on her own.

It's not just at home that Mimi's independence shines through.  Take her anywhere, regardless of crowds, and within a few minutes she'll be running off on her own.  She'll even run directly into the ocean (not the safest thing for a girl 19 months old).  But it's at the park that her independence really shines. 

It starts early, at home.  As I was unloading the groceries the other day Mimi was already at it.  She'd secured her sand toy bag and was chanting, "Go!  Go!" 

Groceries secured, I bundled Mimi into her new red wagon and we headed off for the park.  We sprinted down the hills, which resulted in giggles for Mimi, huffing and puffing for me.  As we entered the park Mimi came over all giddy.  I parked the wagon near the sandpit, thinking Mimi wanted to play with her shovel and bucket.  Wrong.  She immediately sprinted for the swings. 

From the swings we went to slides.  In the past, I'd have to guide Mimi over to the slide and support her on the way down.  Not this time.  She wanted nothing to do with me.  She was going to conquer the slide all on her own.  Without any prompting, she ran over to the bottom platform of the play structure: the toddler entry point. 

She then crawled through the tunnel...

and settled herself at the edge of the slide. 

This is normally when I'd support her back and help her down, safe and sane.  But not this time.  She kicked and flew!

Mimi cracked a huge smile when she hit the bottom of the slide.  She was upside down, but very, very happy.  She immediately dusted herself off and headed back for another go. 

Mimi's independence can be a bit frustrating at times - like when she decides it's time to write all over the leather sofa - but I'm so glad that she has it.  That drive, coupled with her curiousity, will take her far.  I just hope I'll be in good enough shape to keep up.