Wednesday, May 30, 2012

You've Got One Year. Make it Count.

One year ago I handed in my walking papers.  I had been working for the same company for nearly nine years - with reasonable satisfaction and success - and may very well have stayed another nine had Sumie not received an unexpected phone call from California.  Within a week, we had decided to pack up our beloved apartment in NYC and head for the sunny shores (outside the Bay Area at least) of California. 

Though the decision was quick, it wasn't easy.  We would be leaving behind Obachan and Ojichan (Sumie's parents).  We would be saying goodbye to that incomparable city, New York, which had seen us through our graduate degrees, marriage, first home, and first child.  And, so that Sumie could begin her new career in earnest, I would be giving up mine.  Her opportunity was just too good to pass up.  We had to make the move.

Rather than look for a job in San Francisco, Sumie and I decided it would be best for me to stay home with Mimi.  I was to be a stay-at-home dad.  This wasn't just about the transition to San Francisco.  Mimi had been struggling with day care - she never quite acclimated - and with the move we wanted to ensure that she'd be healthy, happy, and confident the next time around.  This meant one of us staying home with her.  And that meant me.

To be honest, I was excited.  This was a new chapter in my life, one I'd share day-by-day with my daughter.  Not many people get that opportunity, especially fathers.  My last day of work was a Tuesday.  A bit odd, but it was Mimi's birthday - her first.  Signing off that afternoon and then celebrating with my little girl was a perfect conclusion to my first career.  I had been working with kids for nearly nine years, and I was giving it up for just one, albeit very special, little girl.  

My first experiences as a stay-at-home dad were still back in NYC, where a bubbly one-year-old, who still couldn't walk, insisted on helping me with the packing. 
At times it really would've been easier to send Mimi in a box, but I hear there are laws against that kind of thing.  
Occasionally, in between the packing, we'd sneak over and pay Sumie a visit during lunchtime.  Some things never change: Mimi still hates her mother's pager!
Before we knew it the end of July, and our moving date, was upon us.  We hit the city almost every night with friends and family, saying our goodbyes.
Mimi and I also hit many of the neighborhoods I knew we'd miss.  Here she is, hat on head, in her stroller one year ago.  
And here she is, hat on head, one year later.  She's come a long way, but that grin is still quite mischievous.  
It took us a while to find our new home in San Francisco, but once we did, we've made the most of the extra space.  On sunny days Mimi loves getting wet in the back yard...
...or making giant drawings of one of her favorite characters: Miffi-chan.  
But not all sunny days have been relegated to the back yard.  When Mama's free, we always try to hit the beach.  Mimi simply can't get enough of the ocean. 
There's been plenty of stuff to do inside as well.  In addition to singing songs and reading books, Mimi and I have taken up pinball...
...piano...
...and impersonating a doctor.  
Of course, life at home hasn't always been perfect.  There have been times when I've let my guard down, much to Mimi's enjoyment. 
There have been those afternoons where life is just a bit more than a toddler can take.   
And lastly, there have been good haircuts...
...and horrendous ones.  Sumie still won't let me near a pair of scissors if Mimi's in the room.  
But most of all, being in California this year has been about spending time with family.  We were able to take our first trip as a family to Japan, to visit Sumie's Grandmother...
...and Mimi gets to play with her own Grandma and Grandpa a couple times each month, not to mention her Great Grandma and aunts up in Sacramento.   
With being so close to Eugene, Oregon, Mimi's been able to spend much more time with her cousin, Alder, my sister's boy.  The two are doppelgangers when it comes to size, spirit, and mentality.  Genuine partners in crime. 
And what would Mimi do without her Japanese cousins, Nana, Lilly, Haruki, Shuhei, and Asuka? 
Being surrounded by family has had, by far, the most dramatic impact on Mimi.  Back in New York she was a bit isolated, but here, with so many cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents, there's always someone she can play with, and who can challenge her to grow.  Our only regret is that she doesn't get to spend much time with Ojichan and Obachan, as well as uncle Genta, who are back in NYC.  Well, Mimi's due a trip back home to Manhattan sometime very soon.  As are her parents.

This past year has meant the world to me.  Much like the year I spent in Japan, it thoroughly and unexpectedly changed my life.  And for the better.  Mimi has blossomed into a beautiful, albeit stubborn, toddler, and I have had the opportunity to share the journey with her, and with all my friends and family through this blog.

But, like all things, my time as a stay-at-home father is coming to an end.  What no one knew, not even our families, was that Sumie and I agreed to a one-year span for me staying at home.  Well, to be honest, I was perfectly happy with not putting a definitive date on it - I hate that kind of deadline when it comes to the unknown - but Sumie was adamant.  "You've got one year, hon.  That's enough."

Amazingly, it was.  Mimi has developed the confidence and security that were so lacking a year ago.  She's acclimated to day care (I think she likes being there twice a week more than being with me, actually) and she's learning that she can get along without Mama or Papa holding her hand (except when crossing the street).

As I mentioned before, I quit my New York job of nine years on Mimi's first birthday.  The day after Mimi's second birthday, I received an offer letter for an instructional design position here in San Francisco.  I was being offered a new career, one I want, 1 year to the very day of leaving my old one.  Of course, I took it.  The timing was too perfect for me to tempt fate.

It was, despite coming in exactly at the one year mark, a bitter-sweet decision.  Being home with Mimi has changed my life for the better and, I hope, hers as well.  Each time she smiles, giggles, or says something new when we're here at home together, I can't help but think, "I'm going to miss that if I'm not here."  I'm sure I will miss some of those milestones, but I also know that this is the right step, both for me and for Mimi, though I will miss our time together terribly.   
This blog, in case you were wondering, will continue.  Documenting the past year for Mimi, and our friends and family, has been a joy.  It is, perhaps, the best gift I'll ever share with my little girl.  And I owe her for just having given me the best year my life. 

4 comments:

Christie Veitch said...

I am glad you met your deadline - please teach me the secret! And, CONGRATS on the new gig!

Angelo said...

BRAVO!!!

Dawn said...

I was so sad to see you go, but definitely happy to be able to read your blog and act as a voyeur! Congratulations on your new career. May your blessings continue.

Steve Kemp said...

Thanks, everyone! My secret: I think I simply lucked out. The year really has been amazing and now, with work on the way here on the west coast, I've come full circle in the journey. I've missed making a difference in my work. Glad I'll have that opportunity again. It makes being away from Mimi a little bit easier.