Fisherman's Wharf - Making the Most of a Tourist Trap

Fisherman's Wharf.  It's a San Francisco icon.  A must see.  A can't miss.  And, for any San Francisco local, an "avoid at all costs" locale.  It's much like Times Square for any resident of New York City.  You know you have to take your out-of-town friends to see it, but your mind screams, "I'll go anywhere else!  Anywhere!  Even Newark!"   With our friends visiting from Chicago, I was dreading the obligatory "Wharf" visit. 

Thankfully, however, the unique scheduling needs of a toddler turned it into a great outing, even for a crusty local.  Here's how it worked. 

We started off early Friday morning.  After bundling Mimi up and taking her to daycare (one toddler would be sufficient, thank you), Julie, Jeremy, Anthony (just shy of 2 years old), and I headed for Fisherman's wharf.  We left the house around 9:30am, which would avoid the morning rush, get us to the Wharf by 10, and allow us to get back home for a nap.  We took a slightly round-about route from the Richmond district, cresting the steep hills of Divisadero past the mansions of Pacific heights and then down into the Marina. 

We shot east on Lombard and took this all the way to "the crooked street."  On most afternoons and evenings, especially on the weekends, the approach to that famous corkscrew is an absolute nightmare.  Shortly before 10:00am, even on a Friday, it was deserted.  San Francisco offers great diversity but is curiously deficient when it comes to early risers. 

We hit Fisherman's Wharf well before the majority of the shops opened.  It was virtually deserted and, as a result, far more enjoyable.  We could concentrate on the beauty of the bay rather than who we might bump into.  We attempted to get tickets for Alcatraz (Note: these sell out fast.  It's best to buy online) and were turned down for two reasons: 1. They were sold out.  2. The two seemingly most obvious places to sell these tickets don't offer rides to the island.  At the Wharf you'll find the Red and White fleet as well as the Blue and Gold fleet.  They are both prominently positioned and offer bay cruises and tours, but no trips to the rock.  For that, wannabe convicts must hike over to Pier 33, near the Ferry Building.  Again, it's best to buy online. 

However, our diversion to the Red and White ticket office took us to some of the actual working docks, where we stumbled across the Musee Mecanique.  It wasn't yet open, but this is a real hidden gem.  It's filled with mechanical attractions from the now defunct Playland at the Beach, a San Francisco amusement park that surrendered to condos in the 1970s.  It's tucked away (unseen) to the right in the photo below.  A perfect place to ditch the crowds, should you find yourself in one. 

The food stalls were all just opening up.  We were able walk through them with impunity - no catcalls from pushy vendors - and experience the behind-the-scenes work as they set up for the impending lunch shift. 

With most of the tourist-trap shops still closed we were able to stroll quickly down to the maritime museum.  The ships were beautiful, but we experienced the one drawback to going early: when that wind blows out on the pier before noon, it's damn cold!  Jeremy and Julie had to bundle Anthony a bit more than we were first planning.

Even the seagulls were feeling the chill. 

From the maritime museum it was a quick walk up and over the Ghiradelli Square. 

For young couples with toddlers hoping to make this walk as quickly as possible, it is best to employ a balding man who thought leaving his own child in daycare would leave him relatively toddler free.  They get the job done.  

Ghiradelli Square is beautiful, but doesn't have that much to offer beyond the chocolate shops, unfortunately.  It's still worth a visit, though.  We used ours to load up on snacks and then relax in the courtyard to give Anthony his lunch.  And one must get at least one picture with the Ghiradelli sign. 

The toddler topped up, we headed over to fill ourselves with clam chowder in bread bowls at Boudin (touristy, I know, but that bread is just too good) and then to Pier 39 to see the sea lions.  Our walk brought us past the Powell and Hyde Cable Car terminal.  Normally this stop is abysmally packed, but on our Friday morning, even with the blue skies, we could've hopped right on.  

The sea lions are, without fear of argument or contradiction, far and away the best thing about Pier 39.  The pier itself is nothing more than a warning of what life would be like if tourist chains and needless-crap shops ran the world.  The sea lions, though, are a great example of what can happen when animals decide to take charge.  Over 20 years ago some sea lions started using the then operational boat docks at the end of Pier 39.  They were squatters.  And thankfully, Pier 39 decided that it would be best to cut the squatters a break and turn them into what is perhaps the best attraction on the Wharf.  Not only are they fascinating, they're perched on the western side of Pier 39, which means you don't even have to pass all the shops!  Fantastic!

By 1:00 we'd covered most of Fisherman's Wharf and were ready to head for home just as the sights began filling with tourists.  Perfect.  Had we been sans toddler, we probably would've stopped in for a second lunch, or at least a snack, at the Ferry Building.  There are some genuinely tasty shops and restaurants tucked away in that considerably less crowded and more local haven on the Wharf. 

That evening, after picking up Mimi, we celebrated a full day (we hit the Presidio in the afternoon, but that's a different story) with penguin pajamas and juice. 

I actually surprised myself with a fun day out at Fisherman's Wharf thanks to getting out early, good food, and good company.  Hmm, maybe I could give Times Square another chance.  OK, I'll be honest, that last one's not happening.