Daycare: Take Two

This morning found me dressing Mimi for her first day of daycare here in San Francisco.  We'd found an excellent home-based center a few months back and, knowing Mimi needed more time with kids her own age, decided to enroll her for twice a week.  This would be just enough for Mimi to improve her social skills and for her father to regain a smattering of sanity.  The day she'd start seemed, and literally was, months away when we'd first enrolled, but it snuck up on his with amazing speed.  Mimi was ready, though. 

And I was excited to finally get some things done around the house.  With Mimi by my side, I couldn't even clean out so much as a drawer without her poking her nose into things. 

Even with the benefits daycare would provide both me and Mimi, I was a little anxious when the time finally came to start up again.  Our last experience, despite the excellent facility and compassionate staff, had been a tough one.  In fact, it's one of the factors that led me to be a stay-at-home dad. 

With Sumie in the midst of her nephrology fellowship and me still working a full-time job with  massive travel obligations when Mimi came around, we had no choice but to enroll her in daycare at the tender age of six weeks.  We weren't happy about it, but we'd lucked out with getting a space at a fantastic facility directly across the street from Sumie's hospital. 

From the beginning, Mimi was not a fan.  Bringing attention to her displeasure was a difficult task.  She couldn't write, she couldn't talk, she couldn't moan and mumble, and she certainly couldn't walk out.  She could scream, though.  And this she did with wild abandon.  We were heart-broken, particularly Sumie who had the tortuous job of dropping Mimi off and leaving her behind each morning.  But we were assured that things would get better.  "Every child is different and every child needs some time to adjust."  Mimi, however, is not "every child." 

Things came to a head after about two months.  You occasionally hear of kids getting kicked out of high school for drugs, grammar school for fighting, and maybe even preschool for biting, but when was the last time you heard of a 3-month-old getting kicked out of daycare.  The child can't even roll over!  And yet this is the situation we were facing with Mimi.  A sad story all around.  There were days when Mimi would literally yank her hair out in anguish.  One afternoon the tantrums were so bad that Sumie was called in from the hospital just to soothe her.

With the help of the daycare staff, we were eventually able to turn things around.  Somewhat.  We'd see a little improvement over the course of each week, but with every Monday it was like starting over with massive kicking, screaming, and sobbing.  The improvements, gradual as they were, eventually began to add up.  By the end of her first year, and the end of her time in daycare, Mimi had finally become comfortable with the situation.  Well, perhaps that's not entirely accurate.  Despite her being only one year old, I'd say she'd just resigned herself to being in daycare.  She'd made tremendous strides, and had made one close friend in Azurde, one of the care givers, but she never fully made that "adjustment" we'd been told would happen in the first few weeks. 

And this is why today was such a blessing.  Mimi arrived at her new daycare and immediately hit the toys.  "Papa, you can go now!"  she seemed to say. 

A few minutes later, I did just that.  I waved goodbye to Mimi and she toddled away to meet her new friends in the back yard.  As I walked down the stairs down to the street, I was a bit choked up.  It had been 12 seconds and I already missed her.  And she didn't even so much as bat an eye when I walked away. 

I stayed home today - cleaning the house in record time thanks to Mimi's absence - wondering when the phone would ring.  Amazingly, it never did. 

Sumie came home just before 5 so that we could pick up Mimi together.  Upon arrival we found Mimi sitting at a table, book in hand, smiling away.  It was remarkable.  We learned that she'd napped, eaten well, and had mixed in wonderfully with the other toddlers from the very start.  Sumie and I looked at each other wondering if Maya, the primary caregiver, was talking about the same child I'd dropped off in the morning. 

Mimi obviously enjoyed daycare today.  So much so that when she got home, she grabbed her daycare bag and ran for the stairs.   She even packed a favorite toy.  I have to say that I like her taste. 

Tonight I am so proud of my little girl and so relieved that she can finally be happy without her mother and father constantly by her side.  I like to think that I may have, over the past six months, played a small role in making this possible.  Or, it may just be that Mimi's so sick of being around me that anything is an improvement!