Child Regression, Parent Exhaustion

First off, my apologies.  It's been far too long since my last post.  The past few days have been filled with family and friends - Sumie's parents came for a visit from New York - and the opportunities to write were few and far between.  But now that it's Labor Day, I finally have a chance to catch up on my "work." 

Mimi has kept quite busy during my internet absence.

She visited the ruins of the Sutro Baths with her Papa.

On Thursday my late father's piano, an 1885 Decker Bros. that was refinished and restored roughly 40 years ago by his father, came into our home.  It was a very special moment for me and deserves its own (forthcoming) post.  Mimi took to the keyboard immediately.

We visited the sea lions at Pier 39 with Obachan and Ojichan.

And on Saturday and Sunday the entire family gathered at Kae and Eddie's house for dinner, pictures, and casual chaos. 

With so much going on it was inevitable that Mimi's normal schedule fell to the wayside.  On a typical day Mimi takes a two hour nap starting sometime between 11:00 and 1:00 and then heads to bed around 9:00.  She's a good sleeper if we're able to keep to the schedule.  If we happen to mess up a day, she can be a bit fussy but generally recovers.  Three days off schedule, though, has only one result: meltdown. 

The first few months of Mimi's life were a time of severe sleep deprivation for Mama and Papa (Mama especially).  Mimi would fall asleep around 8 or so but then wake at 2pm not for a change, but for play.  She'd keep one of us up, usually Sumie, for a good 2 to 4 hours.  If we tried to put her right back to sleep she would slowly, subtly, and tortuously exact her revenge.  She'd begin with a soft whimper, interrupted by the occasional hiccup sob, and slowly but surely build this into a full-scale banshee wail.  But this wasn't the punishment.  No, Mimi's far too crafty to rely on volume alone.  From full wail she'd back down to a whimper and then fall silent.  This was her trap.  A few minutes would pass, enough so that Sumie and I would begin to float, in hushed tones,  the possibility that Mimi may very well have gone back to sleep.  The tension in our bodies, that had been slowly building along with Mimi's cries, would begin to drain.  Our eyes would soon close and that first touch of sleep would fall upon us.  And that's when Mimi would strike.  With a full-bodied scream. 

This cycle could continue for hours.  I even developed chest pains that would coincide with Mimi's fiercer cries.  She's the only person I know, and perhaps the only person in the world, who could out torture Jack Bauer. 

It had been months since Mimi had inflicted such vengeance upon her parents.  But with the lack sleep over the past few days, Mimi had regressed.  And it was time for some payback. 

On Saturday night we returned from Kae and Eddie's house around 11pm.  Mimi had fallen asleep in the car and, miraculously, had made the transition to crib seamlessly when we got home.  Things were looking good.  And then, around 12:30, the phone rang.  It was Kae, who just happens to be 35 weeks pregnant, and she was having contractions.  Could we come over and watch the kids?  Yes, of course!  We hastily packed a few bags, and Mimi, and then headed back to the east bay. 

My mom lives only a few miles from Kae's place, so I called her before we left San Francisco to see if she could stay with Kae and Eddie's girls until we got there.  As such, we were met by Mom at the front door around 2am.  Mimi, who had fallen back to sleep on the way out to the east bay, woke again upon our arrival.  She was up, but from the way she was stumbling around the house, we thought she'd be groggy enough to put back down.  How very wrong we were. 

Before long Mimi was wired and ready for fun.  But by this time it was 3am and Sumie and I were more than ready for bed.  Mimi wasn't having it. 

Two hours later each of us were on the verge of a personal Chernobyl.  We were at our wits' end.  We were even considering heading back to San Francisco and returning the next day (Kae's contractions had stopped and she and Eddie had returned from the hospital).  But, in the end, I was stubborn.  I would not be moved.  And so, I abducted my own child.

Screaming toddler in one hand, BMW keys in the other, I raced out of the house, bundled Mimi into the car, and hit the highway.    By now Mimi had worked herself into quite a state.  It was full five miles before the screams subsided, and another 10 until sleep came.  A slumbering baby now on board, I made a u-turn and headed back to Kae and Eddie's.  This time Mimi made the transition from car to crib without so much as a a peep.  It was roughly 6am.  Mimi had won the battle, but lost the war. 

We slept late Sunday morning, rising around noon to smiles all around.  Mimi was back to her normal self.  As were Sumie and I.  We spent the rest of the day as we should - enjoying family. 

Today, as I look back on our little episode, I can't help but marvel at how closely tied the three of us are.  Before Mimi came along I would occasionally be influenced by Sumie's mood, and vice-versa.  But there was always considerable autonomy.  Our moods were relatively independent.  But now there seems to be a kind of "family mood," which is set 98% of the time by the precocious toddler.  I'm still learning just how this new dynamic works, but I believe that my role is to try my best to keep the mood positive.  Not constantly happy - Mimi does need the occasional correction and her father the opportunity to brood - but always positive.  And, as I suppose I learned this weekend, sometimes the only way to bring that about is to take your daughter for a drive 5:00am.