This One! (Wah!), That One! (Wah!)

Mimi has finally started using two- and three-word phrases.  She's making little requests (More please!), telling us who owns what (Papa's phone.  Mama's car.), and constantly explaining what she's doing (Mimi run!  Mimi car vroom!  Mimi concerned about possible gerrymandering in several battleground states prior to upcoming presidential election!).  With each new phrase, Sumie and I are getting closer to finally having genuine conversations with our little one, in both English and Japanese.  The process is astounding, but there is a downside.  Life with this little girl and her growing vocabulary is not all rainbows and sunshine.

Now that Mimi can communicate her preferences rather clearly, she rarely hesitates to do so.  Unfortunately, these preferences are dictated by toddler logic, which means that most are arbitrary, immediately contradicted, dangerous, or insane.  This morning, Mimi decided to use the phrase "this one" to communicate her unreasonable and ridiculous desires regarding socks. 

The day had started out well.  Mimi woke happy and let me dress her with minimal fuss or protest.  Until it came time for socks.  Upon my uttering "sock," Mimi ran for her sock drawer chanting "Mimi sock!  Mimi sock!" and, naturally, selected the only unmatched sock in the drawer as her pick of the day.  "This one!  This one!" she demanded. 

"Honey," I calmly explained, "we don't have the other sock for that one.  How about these?"

"No.  No!  Nooooo!  This one!  This one!"  was Mimi's reply.  

Mimi ran from me, shrieking at her father's despotic insistence that she wear two socks.  I chased her down and again offered her the matching pair.  "This one?" I asked...

Mimi looked at me and, as I expected, used her phrase.  "No.  This one!"

Clearly, there was no arguing with her.  It would have to be "this one."  So I did what all responsible parents do in such situations.  I pulled a fast one.  "OK, honey," I said,  "we'll use this one!"  Mimi was overjoyed as I took the sock from her hand.  She immediately sat down and raised a leg in triumph, waiting for me to put on the hard-won sock.  I, however, had deviously switched socks on her as she was sitting down, placing the mismatched sock in my pocket (it's still there, actually).  Mimi never noticed the difference.  Evil?  Maybe.  Dishonest?  A little, I guess.  But it got the job done.

The "this one!" morning sock confrontation was gentle sparring compared to the "that one!" battle-to-the-death cage match over diapers that occurred last night.  So gruesome and horrendous was this inexplicable display of toddler willfulness that it could not be filmed or photographed.   

It was 9:00 o'clock and time to change for bed.  Normally this is not an issue.  We strip Mimi down, slip on an overnight diaper, and then zip up her pajamas.  Last night, though, Mimi decided that she didn't want to wear an overnight diaper.  No, she wanted to wear "that one!" a normal diaper that just happened to be there on the floor where we were changing her.  Sumie was changing her and started to struggle.

    "That one!"  screamed Mimi.
    "No, Mimi,"  replied Sumie serenely.  "We need to wear the overnight diaper."
    "That one!  That one!  That one!  Aaaarrrrrr-waaaaahhhh!"
    "Fine, you can wear this..." and then I butted in.
    "No way.  That girl is wearing her overnight diaper.  I'm not waking up to change her halfway through the night simply because she's being silly."

A massive struggle ensued with me, having a nearly 1000% weight advantage on Mimi, eventually getting her into the overnight diaper and pajamas.  The argument, though, did not end there.  Papa hadn't won just yet.  Fully dressed for bed, Mimi ran over to her normal diaper and started chanting "That one!  That one!" while attempting to unbutton her PJs.  The time had come for timeout.

I placed Mimi on her timeout chair, which is the easy chair in the room we were already in, and told her she had to sit there for one minute.  Mimi wailed.  Screams of "that one!" came every ten seconds between gigantic sobs and hitched breaths.  She'd nearly worked herself into hiccups, but still she kept chanting "that one!"  Sumie, always the conscientious mother, had the grace to cover her face as she laughed uncontrollably from the floor.  I felt a bit bad for Mimi but it was, above all else, ridiculously funny.

After a minute had passed, remarkably with Mimi remaining on her chair, she'd calmed down somewhat and joined us on the living room floor.  She still wanted to wear the normal diaper - her murmurs, sniffles, and wary pointing made it obvious - but she'd come to the conclusion that it just wasn't worth fighting anymore.  Exhausted, she was out cold in her crib within five minutes. 

I'm sure that soon we'll move beyond these battles of will and eventually be able to explain to Mimi why we make certain decisions.  Oh God.  She'll constantly be asking us "Why?  Why?"  Maybe that'll be worse!

Faulty Plumbing

It's been far too long since I've posted.  No, Sumie didn't imprison me for giving Mimi a mullet.  That would've been much more preferable to what actually happened. 

Last Wednesday night, nearly 5 days ago, I met friend for dinner.  We went for Mexican at a local place Sumie and I had visited multiple times before.  The food is tasty, the drinks are strong, and the prices reasonable.  Normally.  This time, though, my meal cost me far more than usual.  Particularly given that I couldn't keep it down. 

When I arrived home around 10:30 that night, I was in the full-blown throes of a serious case of food poisoning.  It continued until 6:00am.  My dear wife slept by my side, waking up every 15 minutes or so to say, "You poor thing."  I was not in a good way. 

Thursday morning found me relatively stabilized but exceedingly groggy and entirely unable to keep anything down.  This made watching Mimi a bit of a challenge.  I couldn't leave the house, but Mimi was in no mood for sympathy.  For a full hour she chanted "Go!  Go!" next to the stairwell.  The girl likes to go outside.  

Despite the occasional calls for freedom, Mimi was a good girl for me that day.  She napped well, and even let me snooze on the couch without tearing the house apart.  I think she knew something was wrong with her Papa that day.  By the time Sumie came home that night I was able to keep down some juice.  An improvement, thanks in part to Mimi. 

Friday found Mimi at daycare and me convalescing.  That afternoon I had my first few bites of food.  It had been at least 36 hours since I'd last eaten.  It seemed like I was on the mend. 

But then Saturday came.  The day started innocently enough, with me serving up blueberry pancakes, bacon (I only had one piece!), and scrambled eggs.  Health seemingly restored, we set out for a quick trip to Baker Beach.  Here's Mimi and Sumie making their way up the long staircase from the ocean below. 

Mimi, that trooper, insisted on walking the whole way.  Mama provided the occasional boost, but for the most part, she scaled that entire stairway herself.  She was beyond proud of herself when she hit the top. 

I've never come across a more independent little girl.  She even insisted on carrying her own sand toys - despite them weighing more than she does!

After the beach, and a nap back at home, we drove over to the Moscone Center to pick up Yoomi, a friend of Sumie's from New York.  They'd been through residency together and it was a rare treat for them to meet up again. 

The four of us decided on a quiet dinner at Ju-Ku, a small Japanese izakaya close to our home.  As usual, the food was excellent, especially the fried chicken.  Mimi was on her best behavior.  For nearly two hours she didn't moan or complain.  She just focused on eating, trying to steal Yoomi's glasses, and figuring out how many used chopsticks she could fit in her water glass.  Unfortunately, this last game came to a rather disastrous end for Mimi's dress and Sumie's pants.  That was our cue to head home.  And so we did.

By the time we entered the house, both Mimi and I knew something wasn't quite right.  All that rich food wasn't sitting well with me and Mimi, well, she hadn't pooped for a few days.  This, combined with a full day, made her a bit grumpy.  We changed her out of her wet clothes and she threw a massive tantrum when confronted with her pjs.  She decided to seek solace in the hall carpet.  Why she had to keep her butt in the air, I've no idea.

Things took a further turn for the worse for Mimi and me Sunday morning.  Mimi, Sumie and I were expected at a friend's house for brunch that morning, but it wasn't looking good.  Mimi's plumbing was still severely backed up and mine, once again, had shut down entirely.  And if that wasn't enough, humans weren't the only ones with plumbing problems that morning.  The storm drain in our garage had backed up overnight - perhaps because of the steady rains - making the garage completely uninhabitable.  Basically, everything had gone to shit. 

Mimi and I took pity on Sumie, who had been on call all last week, and let her go enjoy her brunch in peace while we dealt with our various plumbing problems.  And we made some headway.  Mimi, that brave little girl, was eventually able to poop all on her own - and in her potty at that!  I tackled the garage, eventually getting the water level down low enough so we could get to the trash cans.  I was still feeling queasy, but at least I was keeping down juice.  By 1:00, when we had to pick up Sumie, Mimi and I had enjoyed a rather productive morning - despite our handicaps. 

Today I'm feeling a little better, but I still can't take anything in.  I've resigned myself to juice for the next few days.  I suppose it's best for me.  And it's linked to the one positive that's come from my food poisoning: I've finally lost some weight!

More Sharing; More Obstinance

On Sunday Mimi received a visit from her cousins, Shuhei and Asuka, and their parents, Shu and Kayo.  It was a bit of a surprise visit - they were coming by with a giant load of persimmons for us - and I was a bit apprehensive about how Mimi would behave.  She'd refused her nap that day and, as we've seen in these pages previously, she hasn't always been a sweetheart when it comes to sharing. 

Mimi, though, had other plans.  I think she just wanted to play.  So, when Shuhei and Asuka began rummaging through her Star Wars bath toys, sitting in her rocking chair, and drawing at her new table, she let it slide and joined in.  In the past, Mimi would play, but she liked to be on her own.  And when it came to her own toys, she was very protective.  The toy she wanted to play with was always whatever toy the other child had.  By the end of playtime, she'd have a "hoarder's pile" of toys she'd pilfered from other toddlers.  But this time - and I have no idea what sparked the change - Mimi's play was different.  Not only was she sharing, she was collaborating. 

Here's Mimi and Asuka at Mimi's table.  Notice that there are papers and crayons still on Asuka's side.  Amazing!

Shuhei and Asuka then took turns pushing Mimi in her rocking chair.  She loved it!  More importantly, she didn't hoard the chair once they were done.  She simply ran off and let Shuhei use her chair for a while, without complaint!

Mimi even got into the spirit of sharing.  Shuei had received two new Transformers robots from his uncle and one of these two was always in his hands.  That meant he was interested in them and, as Mimi was quick to notice, one was always in reach.  Mimi couldn't resist.  Shuhei, much to his credit, deigned to let Mimi play with his new toys, though he did look a little concerned from time to time.  And Mimi, amazingly, learned that it could be fun to give things back to their original owner.  In fact, she loved it.  Now if only I could get her to feel that way about letting her father work on his computer. 

I was a very proud, and quite surprised, Papa last night.  Mimi's been wonderfully giggly and cute this past week, even more than normal, but she's also been tremendously obstinate.  Every infectious giggle or heart-wrenching little smile has been balanced by manic tantrums and brazen refusals.  She's been particularly challenging in two venues: clothing and sleeping. 

First, clothing.  Observe Mimi in the beautiful hat she insisted I place upon her head.

Mimi managed to rip this hat off, despite it being tied firmly to her head, in a scant 1.7 seconds.  It's been a similar story with jackets, onesies, shirts, sweaters, and socks.  She'll demand a specific piece of clothing and then, once it's on, flail about screaming bloody murder and gouging out her eyes until it's removed.  I know she's a toddler, but c'mon.  If I did this just once, my wife would have me committed.

Sleep has been the other challenge.  Just a week ago, when nap- or bed-time came around all I had to do was give Mimi her bottle, let her drink it down, say, "Ne-ne" (Shall we sleep?"), pick her up, and lay her down in her crib.  She'd even rest her head on my shoulder and pat me on the back when I'd say, "Cuddle, cuddle." 

Today, things are different.  I do think she's teething, but there must be something else going on as well.  Two nights ago Mimi channeled Mike Tyson and went to work on my face with her hands, my gut with her legs, and my forehead with her own.  It wasn't pretty.  We weren't able to get her down until 11:00 that night. 

Naps are even worse.  Yesterday she rejected the entire concept of napping.  This doesn't make for a happy Papa, especially when he has a cold.  But it didn't stop there.  Mimi had another surprise for me.  She'd decided to take her napping rebellion up a notch by combining it with her disdain for clothing.  I had put Mimi in her crib wearing a shirt, sweater, pants, and socks.  Here's what I found wailing at me a scant 30 minutes later. 

Despite the rebellion, Mimi's come a long way since we've moved to San Francisco.  With each day I see more and more of her personality poking through the growing pains.  And I like what I'm seeing.

Chance of Rain: 30%; Chance of Meltdown: 100%

Going out with Mimi is always a gamble.  No matter how much milk we take or how many toys we pack, she will eventually have a meltdown.  It's just a matter of time.  We've gotten to the point now that we usually reach home, or at least the car, before the histrionics begin.  But there are times when Mimi just simply loses it and cannot be consoled.  And so, each trip out, no matter how exciting the prospects, begins with a slight sense of trepidation.  Will we get through the event without mishap?  Will I be able to navigate the streets of San Francisco, which I'm still learning, in peace, or accompanied by piercing screams?  Will the strangers we pass think of me as a calm and collected father or as a man so incompetent when it comes to parenting that even sea monkeys should be spared from my care?  Will the outing end with a smile on my face or tear and saliva stains on my shirt?

As you may have guessed, we tend to choose our outings carefully.  Last weekend the Farmers' Market at the Ferry Building seemed like a safe bet.  And, thankfully, it was a welcome and wonderful outing. 

We arrived at the market early.  Well, early for us.  Getting anywhere with Mimi by 10:00 in the AM is quite an accomplishment.  Fresh fruit and vegetable stands surrounded the renovated ferry building, along with a number of food venders, each with a considerable line.  We browsed through the stalls with Mimi in her stroller.  The serene shopping lasted a good 15 minutes.

When Mimi began to squirm and moan Sumie pulled her out and, instead of carrying her, allowed her to toddle alongside the stroller for the first time.  We were amazed.  What a walker she turned out to be!  This allowed us to head over to the Golden Gate Meat Company to get some pastrami.  A quick note on this pastrami: on "Yelp" it is voted as one of the city's best, but that's just not the case.  It is delicious, but it tastes far more like smoked brisket than pastrami.  If you're wanting pastrami, this isn't it.  Ok, back to the story...

With "pastrami" and breakfast sandwiches in hand, we headed out to the benches overlooking the bay.  Mimi ate standing up - her preferred eating position when we're out - and quickly polished off half the breakfast sandwich.  Full, she decided to befriend a little Japanese girl sitting next to us.  They didn't talk much, but they did seem to like each others' shoes.  Just before we went back into the market a kindly man offered to take a picture of us.

The fruits and vegetables at the farmers' market are amazing, but by no means cheap.  Don't even pretend to think you're going to get a deal here.

The standout item of the day, which was also a bit pricey, was a natural soda carbonated by lactic fermentation.  Very cool and very tasty.  Even Mimi enjoyed it, though half the soda ended up on her shirt.

We returned home without incident.  Overall, an great day out.  Short, but much appreciated.  I'm hoping that once Mimi gets a bit better at communicating we'll be able to take some longer trips.  But until then, we're sticking to 3 hours or less!