Perpetually Exhausted, But Always Worth It

I think it's safe to assume that any couple with younger kids lives in a mixed-up state of elation, exasperation, and exhaustion. Of course, only the exhaustion is perpetual. With both of us working full-time, it can sometimes be hard to get in the activities and outings that make life fun, but we try our best. And when we come home - both kids and parents well worn-out - it's always worth it.

A few weeks back I put a considerable burden on Sumie when I left for a week-long business trip back east. I was worried for her the whole time, but she handled it like a pro. And the kids really stepped up to help, particularly Mimi. She even managed to wake herself up and get dressed every morning (the morning after I got back she, of course, reverted to form).

The kids were so good, Sumie even let them play in the pool in the afternoon.

 Yes, it's not much of a pool, but the kids don't seem to mind.

The kids also took some fashion shots while I was away.

Although I was able to Facetime with the family every night, I really missed them. I think it gets harder when they're this age. Happily, I think they missed me, too. Sumie sent me a picture Mimi had drawn for me. It's of a hotel, and you can see me in the window. It was the best drawing I've ever gotten from my little girl and completely cheered me up though I was 2500 miles away.

I returned just in time for Mimi's preschool graduation. She gave a speech at the ceremony, which she'd spent several weeks memorizing. We were so proud of her.

Naturally, it wouldn't be our life if Sumie didn't immediately have to go on call the day after I got back from my trip. That meant I was on weekend duty. I braved taking both kids out, on my own, for brunch. Amazingly, it worked.

Thank God for restaurants that provide crayons and drawing paper.

The kids took pity on me that Saturday and even Mimi went down for a rare nap. Yes, there were a lot of stuffed animals to clean up, but it was well worth the midday slumber.

The next day we attended a birthday party in SF. The special guest was the San Francisco bubble man. Mimi had a great time until she became so drenched in bubble solution that I had to wipe her down with about 50 wetnaps.

Kuri got into the fun as well. He couldn't really make any bubbles, but being a boy, he was perfectly happy simply swinging a stick around.

The fascination with bubbles persisted when we got home. I'm still not sure how Mimi pulled of this giant bubble in her hand.

Every year our county fair is around the 4th of July, and they set fireworks off every night. On Friday evening we decided we'd spoil ourselves and have a rare night out to eat, followed by fireworks. We went to a local ramen place which was, um, OK, but definitely not Japanese. One sip and we knew. Sumie and I are such snobs. Still, the food was good and the kids had fun.

Mimi even decided to turn her drink into a superhero.

Our viewing location for the fireworks was a local park that overlooks the Marin Civic Center. As Kuri and Sumie waited down at our viewing station below, Mimi and I hiked the hills for a better view. "This is the best adventure ever, Papa!" she exclaimed when we reached the top. I was so excited that she actually enjoyed hiking. We'd revisit the activity soon enough.

On the 4th, Sumie and I were invited to a wedding of a friend from Sumie's medical school. It was a chance for me to bust out one of my suits (one I actually wore at my own wedding).

The wedding was held at a beautiful winery in Sonoma. Without kids (thanks, Grandma!) we could've partied the night away, but instead our whole table got sleepy once the music started pumping. I guess I am getting old (Though, as some of you may know, I'm not exactly a fan of wedding dancing and music. Sumie and I didn't even have a dance floor at ours!).

After the wedding, the normal weekly pace resumed. Getting kids ready in the morning, working through the day, jumping on dinner, and, before you know it, bedtime. It's fun, but we always have our sights set on the weekend. Mimi is still enjoying her gymnastics. Today she nearly reached the top of the knotted rope.

And Kuri, well, he's still quite good at looking cute in his stroller.

To give Mama a bit of a break, Mimi, Kuri, and I came home from gymnastics and I then set to work putting Kuri down for his nap. Once he was out (he went down like a stone, thankfully), I put the childseat in the Porsche, took the top off, and Mimi and I headed out for another hiking adventure. We went to the same spot and marveled at the views of the bay...

...and of the Civic Center and Mount Tam. Mimi's definitely becoming a little hiker.

She's also following a bit in her father's footsteps when it comes to cars.

This was the first time we headed out "fully open" - top off and windows down. She loved it, but was just slightly annoyed that she had to hold on to her hat so tightly.

Not to be outdone, Kuri is also taking an interest in cars, as well as trucks, trains, planes, and basically anything that moves. He loves to point out Mama's car and Papa's cars in the morning before school. And he's also getting good at badge identification. So far he can spot Jaguar, Ferrari, and Fiat. Perhaps he'll end up with an Italian car someday.

These two kids have not been without their trials and tribulations, but with each week it becomes harder and harder to fathom just how lucky Sumie and I are to have them in our life. Watching their personalities come out, and seeing our family evolve with each milestone these kids pass, has been the best experience of my life.

Now if only Kuri could hit that milestone of coming off diapers, we'd be set.

Seeing Yourself in Your Kids: Things for which to be Thankful

There has been a great deal to be thankful for this holiday season. So much so, that it's been nearly a month since my last post. The last month has been a time for family, which has also been the main reason for the delay between posts. This is, of course, the main blessing I'd like to recognize, but that will take a major post for which my brain, sadly, is not quite yet prepared (look for it soon). As such, tonight's post will deal with smaller topics. Specifically, the happiness I feel when I see my own kids taking an interest in the things I love.

The first love regular followers of this blog might readily guess: cars.  This Sunday, I snuck away, while most of the family and our family guests were asleep, to the January gathering of Cars and Coffee in Marin. For the first time, I took Kuri with me. I wasn't sure how he'd do, but he had a fantastic time. I met lots of dads there with their sons, usually 6-12 years old, but my little boy was only pushing 14 months. Yes, I'm starting early. Here he is with the car that brought him there.

We saw a ton of amazing cars, but the one that really stood out was the original, unmolested, 300SL Gullwing. Kuri approved.

Although the car had numerous cracks and imperfections, I could already tell that Kuri deeply appreciated the original patina of this timeless classic. He was so blown away, in fact, that he couldn't even look at the front end of the car. It was just too much.

Mimi has also taken an interest in cars. One of her favorite things is to help Papa wash the cars in the driveway. Here she is cleaning up the BMW for our family visitors who would arrive the next day.

I'm also amazed by Mimi's creativity. Already, at 4 years old, she likes to dress up like Elvis Costello...

...and re-enact favorite fairy tales like "The Princess and the Pea." This last pic occurred following a family visit when we'd stacked all the bedding we'd used in Mimi's room. She couldn't resist reaffirming her princess status.

When I think back to before the kids were born, and what I'd hoped they'd love, three topics arise. The first, of course, is cars. As we've seen, this has already occurred (hooray!). The next is reading. While both are a bit young for this, they both love having stories read to them. My chance for introducing books for them to read on their own (at least for Mimi) is just around the corner. The last is music. It was my hope, and perhaps a vain one, that Mimi and Kuri would appreciate some of the same bands that I loved as a kid and continue to cherish now. To date, Mimi has a passing interest in The Beatles, but, I am quite thankful to report, she has become a genuine fan of They Might Be Giants.

I first discovered this band from my cousin John, who had a tape of their single "Don't Let's Start" when it first came out. I heard this and absolutely loved it. I was all of 9 years old. I've followed their career ever since. It is virtually impossible to explain how excited I am that my daughter, before the age of 5, loves the same song.  Of course, she calls it "Donut Star," but that's part of the fascination.

So far, she's enjoying the classics. "Minimum Wage" is one of her favorites. She likes to act this one out in particular.

When playing TMBG the other night, Mimi surprised me. As anyone who has been to a TMBG show knows, as soon as "Birdhouse in Your Soul" kicks into gear, you start jumping. Innately, Mimi knew just what to do. She was a bit obsessed with trying to get her little brother to play along, but she definitely had the right idea.

Lastly, Mimi is beginning to show a capacity with complicated lyrics. A capacity her father possesses and one her mother quite egregiously lacks (I love my wife dearly, and while she can remember the melody to countless tunes, she cannot access the lyrics to even the most common song outside of Happy Birthday). However, while bouncing on the trampoline the other day, Mimi spouted off the following:
     The sun is a mass of incandescent gas,
     A gigantic nuclear furnace.
     Where hydrogen is built into helium
     At a temperature of millions of degrees.
Yes, "Why the Sun Shines" (slow version, for now) is her favorite TMBG song. I never really expected this to happen, but perhaps that's why I'm so thankful for it. Even so young, I can already see my daughter taking enjoyment in, and having an affinity for, the same kind of wordplay that I have always loved.

It's been a great start to the new year. More to come on the adventures of the past two weeks with friends and family. A happy New Year to all!

Captain Domestic's Monthly Reprieve

Like most families in the last few remaining weekends before the holidays, we spent our Saturday shopping.

The day began with Mimi and Kuri waking up normal time, which meant both Sumie and I had to be up as well. At what age do kids learn the concept of sleeping in on weekends?

After gymnastics and Kuri's morning nap, we headed to the east bay to buy bedding (Sumie's entire family will be staying with us over the holidays) and to take our yearly family pictures - this time with the grandparents.

The sale on bedding was fantastic, but the scheduling at the picture studio was abysmal.  Though we had an appointment, there was still over an hour wait. "We're running on baby time" was the explanation. To me, that's a creative way of saying "We overbooked so you'd have to stay here and shop."  Despite the wait and the hungry kids, the pictures came out well, thanks to a photographer who is far better at getting my kids to cheer up than I am.

Here's a shot of Kuri and Mimi.  Kuri, of course, has his ever-present burp-cloth in hand.

And here's Kuri all on his own. He's smiling, but note the droopy eyelashes at the corners of his eyes. Tears had been streaming down just a few second before. I wish I could turn my day around so quickly.

And lastly, here's Mimi.  She was all smiles. Kuri, however, despite his tears, wanted to be a part of each picture.  Note the little red arm creeping in from the left!

As a man who embodies the antithesis of being photogenic, Mimi's comfort in front of the camera amazes me. Here she is at Old Navy. I think she was the highlight of the display.

After photos it was time to eat. On the way to the restaurant, Mimi snatched Sumie's phone and began taking pictures.  Here's a shot of Mama...

an action shot of Kuri in his car seat...

...and Mimi's greatest work: Self Portrait Number 27.

She goes through film like a real photographer.  I later deleted 87 photos from the phone.

After dinner we had one last stop to make. Mimi and Kuri, despite the late hour, handled themselves wonderfully.  I was a proud papa.

The long day ended with a bath for Kuri...

...and a quick trip to bed for both children and parents alike.  Sunday was to be another busy day, but only Papa had to wake up early.

As a result of the past few years, starting with my year long stint as a stay-at-home dad, I've acquired the moniker of "Captain Domestic."  I cook, fold laundry, handle the finances, take the kids out on my own on call weeks, change diapers, wake everyone up in the morning and tuck them in at night. If that weren't enough, I work in education, designing learning materials for kids.  Yes, I think I've earned my title.

Still, there are times when this domestic gentleman needs to cut his apron strings and rejoin the ranks of the hairy chested and grunting species to which he belongs. As readers of this blog may have guessed, I'm not a typical guy's guy.  I'm not into sports, I'm not a gym rat, and I don't play poker.  I do, however, love - nay, adore - cars.

On the first Sunday of every month, there's is a "Cars and Coffee" gathering a few miles away from my home. It's chance for locals to take out their classic, unique, or tuned cars and commune with like minded souls. 8:00am is a bit early for me on a Sunday, but having missed the last one, I had to make it.  I'd hoped to bring Mimi with me, but (sadly?) she was till asleep when I left.

I arrived about 8:15, a little late but still part of the early crowd.

These are very informal events, but every time there are some astounding cars. My humble little 911sc Targa was flanked by a beautiful Ferarri f355 spyder (one of my favorites) on the right...

and by an even more beautiful Ferrari coupe on the left.

As usual, Porsches were well represented. I drooled over a 1989 factory Turbo Slantnose...

...and a gorgeous 356 cabriolet (perhaps my favorite Porsche).

My little car wasn't even the stand-out white Porsche. That honor was taken by this beautiful Carrera RS tribute.

Though my little 911 is very humble, thankfully, showing off is not what these events are about. They're simply a chance to talk shop and to share a love of cars. People show up with six-figure garage queens to tuned Subarus to work-in progress Datsun wagons and BMW 2002s. And that's what makes it so special. There's no real criteria for the car you bring other than that you think it special and want to share it with others. Like many other cars there, my car isn't perfect (far from it), but that's somewhat a reflection of it being well-loved. You can't really bond with a perfect car on the road. You'll always be too afraid of what might happen. Similarly, you won't be able to discuss the innumerable improvements you have yet to do with other car nuts!

Perhaps it's wrong to start at such an early age, but I've been attempting to instill a love of cars in Kuri. Each morning, after I pick Kuri up from his restful night's sleep, we head over to the "Plaque of Emblems" on the wall by his crib. This was created by my grandfather for my father when he was a boy, and hung in my room when I was young as well. It's a collection of emblems that were prizes in Wheaties boxes in the 1950s.  Kuri already has his favorites.  He particularly likes Ferrari, Bentley, and Jaguar. I cannot argue with him there.

Over the past 30+ years, I've seen examples of almost all these marques in the flesh, but one had still escaped me. I'd never seen an Allard.  Well, this Sunday, just two spaces down from my own little car, I saw my first.

As the years go by, I'm looking forward to bringing Mimi and Kuri along with me. It might not fully rub off on them, but I'd love them there beside me.  Even if it makes me a little more domestic during man-time.

P.S. Many thanks to Paige Gaines for the photos of the cars (including mine) I "borrowed" for this post.

Mendocino via Vintage 911

This weekend was the first time in two years that Sumie and I slept under a different roof than our children.  They remained at home, kindly, and excitedly, watched over by Grandma.  Sumie and I blocked off a luxurious 30 hours of "us" time and fled to the north coast of Mendocino.

Looking back over nearly 5 years with kids so far, I think it's safe to say that Sumie and I still travel quite a bit, but it's always as a family.  Christopher, in his first year of life alone, logged more airline miles than I did in my first twenty.  Traveling with young kids can be a lot of fun, but it's never quite a vacation, so this was a real treat for the two of us.

Our trip began with a quick drive up 101 and then crossing over to Bodega Bay.  From there, we drove up the remaining 100 or so miles to Mendocino along Highway 1.  We marveled at the scenery and completely different pace of the small towns through which we passed.  This is perhaps the only place in the world in which it takes 15 minutes to toast a pizza bagel.  And when it finally arrives on the counter, it's a pesto bagel.

We arrived at our bed and breakfast, The Agate Cove Inn, in the late afternoon.  The setting had looked fantastic on the website, but was even better in person.  Quiet, serene, with just enough ocean roar to calm the senses.

The inn even matched our car!  Upon arrival, I put the top back on the Porsche.  It did not come off again on our trip.  I love a targa or a convertible, but Sumie is not a big fan.  "You can't talk!"

While unfolding the roof, I brilliantly managed to pinch my ring finger in the hinge mechanism, resulting in a nice, steady stream of blood.  Sumie, always the doctor on call, quickly responded with a very manly Dora the Explorer bandaid, which I wore proudly through the rest of the trip.

Despite the somewhat humbling arrival, we were quite pleased with our room.  Gas fireplace, a soaking tub big enough for a moderate-sized high school swim team, and a supple leather couch with an amazing view out the front windows.

This is the basic view we had from our sitting room and the front porch.

Back in NYC, Sumie and I ate out all the time.  We reveled in good food.  Today, it's an exceedingly rare treat that the two of us can enjoy a good restaurant.  Young kids have a way of keeping fancy food at bay.  As such, our trips as a couple often center on good food, and plenty of it. For our first meal we had reservations at Coq au Vin, a country-style French restaurant in Andersen Valley.  By the time we headed out (top on the car, and Sumie much happier), it was already dark.  Now, anyone who has driven through the Northern California coast knows that cell phone reception is, at best, spotty. And anyone who has driven a stock 911sc at night knows that the factory headlights are about as bright as a 1 watt bulb hooked up to the exercise wheel of a lethargic hamster with emphysema. This delightful combination resulted in us overshooting our hard-to-see restaurant...by 14 miles. But, thanks to my German obsession with being on time, and a similar German obsession with fast cars, we still made it.

Coq au Vin is by no means fancy.  It's a favorite of the locals and the decor and comaraderie matches the laid-back atmosphere of the north coast.  The food, however, is first rate.  We started with mussels and an order of French onion soup.  Sumie pronounced this soup the best she has ever tasted. I heartily agreed (and nearly ordered a second cup).

Sumie followed with the cod...

...and I tucked into the roast tenderloin with Normandy sauce.  Both were simple, but wonderfully done.

The next morning we enjoyed a breakfast at the inn (which had the best muffins I've ever enjoyed) and pottered around the grounds.

 Upon check-out we made the very short drive down to the town of Mendocino proper.

 The downtown was very cute, and also very dangerous.  Well, at least for my wallet.  We found a little shop that specialized in jams and jellies, and another in Belgian chocolates and automobile memorabilia.  We even came across a man who ran a perfume shop and built custom speakers.  This, for me, was perhaps the most dangerous.  Sumie, however, had the strength to pull me out before I could be led to the listening room and a potential purchase that definitely would not have fit in the back seat.

Our last stop in town was Cafe Beaujolais, a California-French restaurant (heavy emphasis on the California).  Sumie and I split crab cakes, and then she tucked into her fettuccine.

I had a bacon and chicken sandwich, Frenched up with the addition of brie and served on a baguette. Mine was great, but Sumie definitely won the lunch food round.  Her leftovers are still in the fridge as I'm writing this, but may well be gone by the time she gets home with Mimi from shopping.

 Our drive home on highway 128 took us through dense redwood stands.  It was gorgeous.  Sumie mentioned that she saw an Ewok or two.  We'd had a remarkable time.

We'd also made it home quickly, safely, and comfortably in a 32 year old car with over 200K on the odometer.  Our little 911, which I'd equipped with a spare battery, jumper cables, and a set of tools, saw us through and helped to make our little road trip a bit of an adventure. I can also proudly say that not a single person passed us on highway 1 or 128, despite our keeping, for the car at least, a rather leisurely pace.

After 30 hours away, we returned home to two very excited kids.  They had been amazing for grandma and we couldn't have been prouder of them.  That night, Mimi snuggled into her favorite spot on Mama's lap for a story.

The next morning, I cuddled my two munchkins.

After this weekend, I've realized that a night or two away isn't simply about spending private time with your spouse (though that's much appreciated).  Perhaps the greatest benefit of a weekend away from the kids is remembering just how much you love what you left behind.