Accidental Mullet

The day had started off so well...

Mimi woke up smiling at 8:30.  By 11:00, with two loads of laundry already checked off the list, we hit the road on an errand quest of grocery shopping, shoe repairing, and special turkey sandwich getting (Arguello Market makes a roast turkey sandwich that cannot be ignored).  Mimi was napping soundly by 2:00 and I was making significant headway on all those on-line chores I'd been putting off.  By the time Mimi woke at 3:30 I'd proclaimed myself a domestic ninja.  And that's when my pride got the best of me.  I decided to give Mimi a haircut. 

Regular readers of this blog may remember that I had given Mimi her first haircut, which was somewhat successful, several months back.  Thinking back on this I foolishly decided that I'd tempt fate and give it another go.  Now, this decision was not just based on whimsical thinking.  There was some method in my madness.  So, before I share pictures of the carnage that are sure to damn me to hair-dresser hell forever, please give me a moment to justify an admittedly silly decision.

Why I Thought Cutting My Daughter's Hair Might be a Good Idea:

1. Mimi's bangs had grown quite long and were constantly getting into her eyes, sometimes causing her considerable pain; 
2. Mimi is going through a shy phase right now.  It takes her at least half an hour to warm up to strangers;
3. Mimi is also beginning to throw tantrums.  In my mind, the shy and tantrum factors would combine for an utter meltdown at the hair salon;
4. I'd trimmed Mimi's bangs somewhat successfully before;
5. Despite my penchant for German cars, antiques, and pinball machines, I'm a cheap bastard at heart.  

So, believing I was in my right mind, I draped a smock over my 20 month old daughter and set to work.  Mimi, who is already smarter than her father, looked apprehensive.

I dug in anyway.  Wetting her hair with No-More-Tangles, I then combed it forward and began the trim.  A few snips in I took a picture of my handiwork.  Mimi seems to be sending me a message: "No more!  No more!"

But, moderation having never been my friend, I continued.  Unfortunately, the more I thought about cutting hair, the more my mind turned to my own experiences - how my own hair is cut.  This is not a good look for a little girl.  Some sinister, beguiling voice spoke up, "Trim that long hair in front of her ears!  You always hate that."  And it's true.  I do hate hair hanging down in front of my ears.  It bends out awkwardly from under my glasses and tends to stick out at a 90 degree angle from the side of my head when I wake each morning.  So, I always have it removed.  Nice and smooth from the bangs to the ear.  This looks fine on me.  Why I thought it would look good on my daughter I have absolutely no idea. 

By the time I recognized what I had done, it was too late.  Mimi had been mulleted.  Short-longed.  Business in the front and party in the backed.  Trailer parked.  Hockey Haired.  NASCAR'd.  Sent on a field trip to the south.  You get the picture.  I decided to give Mimi a bath - she needed one anyway - to see if it would help things.  My hair always looks better following a shower after a new haircut.  No dice.  The mullet would not wash away.  It's too tough a look for that. 

There was no hiding this from Sumie.  When she came home I said nothing.  I just sat on the couch, sort of like a dog who hides in the corner after he's misbehaved.  Sumie, confronted with a daughter who could now audition as an extra for a "Deliverance" remake, was less than pleased.  Let me give you an example.  I searched the house for more than an hour today and I still can't find a pair of scissors.  We used to have three. 

As in the norm in the 21st century, I was punished via a posting on Facebook.  I deserved it, but to be fair, it took Sumie about 20 shots to get a picture that was truly horrific. 

And yes, despite the haircut, Mimi is still cute.  I'm very happy for that and I hope it's a sign of things to come.  I have many more mistakes to make, I'm sure, but I think Mimi will see them through.  I hope she'll remember that I always do my best for her.  Even when she ends up with a mullet.