Portly Man Defies Laws of Physics in BMW Wagon

"You're going to Oakland, right?"

These are the very words spoken to me by my sister's husband, Sean, as I was driving us down I-280 toward the airport.  Sean, Julie, and their son Alder, 1 month Mimi's junior, had come out for a quick visit on Friday.  We'd had a wonderful time - barbecue for dinner on Friday, museums and a "They Might Be Giants" show on Saturday, wrapping up with a visit to Sacramento to see family on Sunday - but were all a bit groggy from a late night following a very packed weekend.  Perhaps this is why none of us realized until we were halfway to SFO that the flight was departing from Oakland.  Ah, the joys of multiple metropolitan airports. 

At first I thought Sean was joking.  And I didn't think it that funny given that we were already running a bit late.  Julie, who had somehow wedged herself into the back seat along with the two babies and their massive car seats, piped up at this point.  "You're joking, right Steve?  You know we're going to Oakland.  That's where we flew in." 

My mother had, kindly, picked Julie and Sean up on Friday - from Oakland.  I had remained at home in blissful ignorance of their entry point to California.  Unfortunately, none of us had thought to confirm what the exit point would be.  By the time we collectively realized our error, we'd been traveling for at least 20 minutes in entirely the wrong direction. 

A few cries of anguish later, I'd turned around and Sean had remapped the route.  It was 10:35am.  The flight, which appeared to be on time, was scheduled to leave at noon.  It was the only flight that day.  In fact, it was the only flight until Friday.  "Allegiant Air" - inexpensive, as long as you make your flight!  The newly mapped route proclaimed more bad news.  It projected 42 minutes from where we were to the airport.  This put us at the terminal 2 minutes after the check-in cutoff. 

The situation looked bleak.  Sean was researching flights on other airlines, Julie was trying to find a sub for her Tuesday classes, and Mimi and Alder both decided that it was time to wail for no apparent reason.  I, however, was mildly optimistic.  I'd been training for such a challenge since I was 16 years old.  And I had the perfect tool: an older, inconspicuous, unassuming, and very quick BMW Wagon. 

I pride myself on being able to drive quickly, but safely, under the radar.  Run silent, run deep.  Decades of burning down long stretches of the California highways, New York thruways, and the New Jersey Turnpike have taught me how to drive inconspicuously at speed.  And with 9 years in the vehicular crucible that is Manhattan, I learned how to read the traffic to find the fastest lanes.  I am by no means an excellent driver, or even a great driver.  But I think I'm competent.  Competent enough to have always gotten my charges to the airport in time for their flights.  And I wasn't about to fail now. 

By the time we hit the Bay Bridge, the tension in the car had dropped.  When downtown Oakland faded into the distance, the babies were babbling contentedly.  And when we finally pulled up to the terminal at Oakland Airport, we knew we'd succeeded.  It was 11:00, on the dot.  The 42 minute projection had been cut to 25.  We're still not sure how it happened - some law of space and time must have been violated, I'm positive.  Still, thanks to that little wagon from Bavaria, we were able to close out a fantastic weekend in style - and with just the right amount of drama.

There'll be more on the visit in the days to come - so many pictures and video to go through - but in the meantime, here a few highlights:

Mimi and Alder loved playing together, particularly at Great Grandma's house.  They even learned how to play, "Sit still, we're taking a family picture!"

Of course, they weren't always perfect.  Mimi decided that Great Grandma's antique tea trolley would make an excellent fort. 

There were many amazing moments on the trip - the concert, finding a chicken and waffles restaurant, etc. - but the sky on the way home from Sacramento was perhaps the most breathtaking. 

The pinnacle of the weekend, at least for me, was watching Mimi and Alder become fast friends and playmates.  Playmates who can even share.  Here they are on opposite sides of Mimi's playhouse. The two kids just seemed to click.  It was pretty cool to see.