Just Don't Take Away My New York Plates

Friday, July 1^st was the first time in over 10 years that I had driven in the city of San Francisco.  Happy to say, the city is the same but the driver has changed. 

Navigating SF by car was a love-hate endeavor for me in college.   The “love” dynamic reached its pinnacle with a late night tear through the streets, with a rest at Coit tower, following the last final I took during my first quarter at U.C. Davis.  Upon entering the city at 11:00pm I pulled off the targa top on my, at that time, perfectly-running Porsche 914 and proceeded to thrash the clutch and overheat the brakes as I scaled San Francisco’s famous hills.  I didn’t head home until 4:00am – exhausted but with one hell of a smile on my face. 

Most of my automotive adventures in SF, though, were bad.  At the time I had blamed it on the city, but thanks to Mr. Hindsight, I realize now it was my shoddy cars.  Strong in my memory festers the 2 hour crawl on Highway 101 from South San Francisco (near Candlestick Park) to the Bay Bridge on one of the hottest days in SF history.  Not only was the air conditioning in the Volvo shot, the radiator was as well.  To keep the car from completing overheating I had to run the heater full-blast in the stop-and-go traffic.  I had been needing to lose some weight – and did – but I can’t say that I’d recommend the car sauna as an effective, or safe, means of either weight loss or travel. 

This last Friday in SF, though, was a driving revelation.  Despite getting a bit lost, being pressed for time, and not having air conditioning, I loved it.  No stress.  No anxiety.  Just a good time exploring the city, twisting up and down the hills, and weaving through traffic.  There are, I believe, three reasons for this:  1. I have learned to invest in a reliable car; 2. 10 years of driving in Manhattan has prepared me for anything; and, 3. I still had New York plates on my car. 

It’s this last reason, I think, that made the experience so much fun.  SF drivers are, at least from what I experienced yesterday, less aggressive and more accommodating than their New York counterparts.  As a New Yorker behind this wheel, I interpret this strictly as their loss and my gain.  I zipped through gaps three to four car lengths long, amazed at the space set aside for my nimble little car.  And beyond this, no honking!  Well, to be honest, I heard three honks that day, and one of them was at me.  I had cut in on someone in order to get right.  Now, in NYC, the person I was crowding would have started honking (if not swearing and making obscene gestures) as soon as I turned my wheel to switch lanes.  This San Franciscan, however, did not even honk, and only timidly at that, until I was entirely in front of her in my new lane.  Amazing!  I don’t think this is simply a result of my NY driving skills and a relaxed SF attitude.  That New York plate must be having an impact. 

In NYC we learn to steer clear of specific types of cars.  Here’s a list by type of car:

·      Yellow Cab: safer than they get credit for.  However, beware if they are looking for a fare.

·      Gypsy Cab:  These are the black or sometimes silver Lincoln Town Cars that are either dispatched or cruise the boroughs looking for illegal fares.  They are notoriously bad, often take up two lanes due to an unfortunate combination of incompetence, arrogance, and laziness, and should be avoided at all costs

·      SUVs:  They are the scourges of the Manhattan driver.  Particularly terrible are teenage SUV drivers from the burbs.  Silver Toyota Land Cruiser barreling down the street at 20+ over the speed limit on a Friday evening in Manhattan = spoiled suburban kid who has nicked his parent’s car, just scored (or is about to score) pot, ecstasy, coke, crack, Vicodin, Percocet, etc., and will end the night with a body count. 

Out-of-State license plates also play an important indicator for whom to avoid.  Here are the worst offenders, ranked from least to most dangerous. 

5.  North Carolina

4.  Connecticut

3.  Pennsylvania

2.  Florida

1.  New Jersey

When in Manhattan, drivers from New Jersey are to be avoided at all costs, though, to be fair, they are quite skilled in their native environment.  I cannot tell you how many New Yorkers have been lost to NJ jug-handles in vain attempts to turn left. 

In stark contrast to New York there are virtually no out-of-state plates in California, San Francisco included.  This makes the NY plates currently on my cars all the more fearsome.  These plates give me not only a license to drive aggressively, but a rock-solid excuse for doing so.  I don’t want to give them up.  If anyone has a line on how I can hold on to them, please let me know. 

Lastly, since we’re on the subject of cars, here are a couple pictures of Mimi up at her grandparents’ place in Scarsdale.  Based on this evidence I think she’s going to take to cars quite well.  I can’t wait to take her for her first ride up the Pacific Coast Highway! 

Steve